Posts Tagged vibrator

Good Vibrations

I have written product reviews for a variety of vibrators that Joy and I frequently use during our adventures together. However, it occurred to me that some folks new to the world of bondage and BDSM might have questions about this. Why would you need a vibrator in the first place? Isn’t BDSM more about tying someone up and spanking them? Experienced practicioners are already well aware of the value a vibrator, but if you’re not so experienced and not already aware, read on…

The truth of the matter is that both the subcategory of bondage and the larger world of BDSM are really about a power exchange. At its most basic, one partner, the submissive, voluntarily gives up control of themselves to the other partner, the Dominant. This power exchange lends great energy to the actions that the two partners perform together, and can lead to extremely passionate, fun and satisfying sex, among other things.

So where does a vibrator come in? The vibrator provides to the Dominant a stimulation tool that never gets tired, never has a bad day, and never quits in its efforts. More than that, it comes in a compact package, and therefore can be used in places and positions where other options won’t work as well. And finally, its stimulation is more concentrated and is generally more effective at generating sexual arousal than just about any other option, including body parts arguably specifically designed for that purpose!

What I say applies most strongly when the submissive partner is female–that’s generally the target audience for vibrators. Therefore, for the purpose of our discussion, let’s assume that we are working with a female submissive. However, much of the following can also apply to a male submissive, though perhaps some techniques may need to be adjusted to accommodate differences in anatomy, and the effects will likely not be as great.

One of the great joys in Domination comes from the ability to control one’s partner, to cause them to do and feel things almost in spite of themselves. This includes, most definitely, the ability to give your partner an orgasm. There are few other things that place your partner more under your control than making them reach orgasm. As dedicated readers know, one of my favorite things is bringing Joy to a climax when her limbs are cuffed and she’s unable to do anything other than twist in her bonds. And it’s even better when we’re talking multiple orgasms, one after another, each one coming right on the heels of the last.

Using a vibrator allows me to achieve this much more often than I ever could without one. For one thing, the effect of the vibrator applied directly to Joy’s most sensitive area is intensely pleasurable to her. There is no other tool I own, including my tongue, that can create such immediate and powerful excitement. In other words, the vibrator simply does an outstanding job of applying concentrated stimulation in a highly pleasurable spot.

In addition, it can do so for a long, long time. Unless you are bionic, you simply can’t compete with it’s implacable endurance. When your tongue would get tired, when you have already reached your own climax and lost interest, when you are tired and sleepy, the vibrator will keep on going. That’s a really good thing, because one of the biggest advantages of BDSM sex is that the adventure can last for a long time, allowing lots of buildup and a nearly explosive finish. You know how you always read that women needs lots of foreplay? Well, this is foreplay that you will really enjoy, because it is just as exciting for you as it is for your partner.

Want to try something fun? Bind your wife or girlfriend’s arms over her head, then bind her legs apart. In this position, she’ll feel somewhat vulnerable, as she cannot use her arms to push you or your hands away, and she cannot close her legs. (Remember, however, that she can call a halt to everything if she chooses–this is always and only consensual BDSM!) Then, using your hands, tongue and yes, a vibrator, take your time to bring her to a climax. Give her a minute to catch her breath, but don’t unbind her. After she’s calmed down a small bit, slowly start over, using hands, tongue and vibrator (aren’t you glad now that you have it?) to get her off again if you can. And then, if you think she can handle it, go one more time. Save your own pleasure for last.

Feel free to change her position during one of the rest periods if she starts to get uncomfortable, or if you want a different angle or view, but make sure she stays bound so that she remains in your control. Ask her how she feels afterwards…but you may need to give her a few minutes to recover her ability to speak. And watch how eagerly she lets you bring her to bed the next time you try this.

After a few days or weeks of performing this activity, you may be able to start skipping the cool down periods in between, and take her straight from one orgasm to another. Joy sometimes can have five orgasms in a period of about 10 minutes. The only reason we don’t go longer is that she begs me to stop because she feels like she’s going to explode.

Another nice thing about the vibrator is that you can use it in awkward positions. Consider the hog tie position, for instance. In this position, your partner’s hands and legs are brought together behind their back and tied, leaving them nicely helpless, but also blocking ready access to her genitals. You can easily use the vibrator to reach those delicious, secret parts of her body, however, while at the same time kissing and caressing your partner’s lips and nipples, or if you’re feeling a bit less noble and a bit more selfish, availing yourself of her mouth. The vibrator will let you give her pleasure at the same time as she’s giving pleasure to you.

Or it can serve as a helping hand during intercourse. Imagine that your girlfriend or wife is tied spreadeagled on the bed, and you are inside her. You can use the vibrator to add extra stimulation directly to her clitoris as you thrust, helping her to achieve her climax at the same time as you achieve yours.

Note that there are vibrators designed for anal use as well. While you can use a standard vibrator for anal play, I recommend you get one designed specifically for that purpose. Good ones are shaped so that they can be inserted into your partner’s rear entry and remain in place on their own, which frees up the hand that you’d normally need to hold it . While an anal vibrator won’t usually bring your partner to orgasm by itself, one thing it does nicely is raise their overall excitement level. Not only does this make taking them over the brink to climax easier, but it preps them for other activities that may benefit from arousal, including pain related activities such as wearing nipple clamps or being spanked.

One thing to note is that women who have never used a vibrator sometimes need a bit of an aquaintance period to get used to it before it provides its full effect. This would be true for anal vibrators as well. Be gentle when first introducing either model, and don’t give up if your partner’s response is not as powerful as you were hoping the first time around. Chances are good that her reaction will improve as the experience becomes more familiar to her.

The bottom line to all this is as follows: If you don’t already own a good vibrator, you should get one. And if you and your partner are into anal play, you should get an anal vibrator as well. No matter what you think now, you’ll thank me after you try one or both of them a couple times. And your wife or girlfriend will thank you for it as well…profusely!

Enjoy yourself!

Jake

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BDSM Product Review: Je T’aime Sept Traditional Vibrator

Joy and I have recommended the Waterproof Turbo Glider Raspberry Crush as our “best” traditional vibrator for almost a year. However, during that time, we’ve had to replace the Turbo Glider twice. Something in the twist on/twist off controls keeps breaking, leaving the vibrator inert after awhile. While it’s still great fun while it’s operational, this lack of durability made me decide to look around to see what other options I could find.

After a fair amount of scouting and research, I decided to make a purchase. Joy and I have been using the Je T’aime Sept Traditional Vibrator together now for more than a month, and based on it’s performance, we’ve now officially designated it as our new, official “best” traditional vibrator.

Why is it best? Well, first, because it’s vibrations seem to be uncommonly powerful compared to other vibrators in its class. And second, because the control scheme solves a couple different issues that tend to crop up when using a vibrator for couples play.

If you’re interested, please take a look at the full review. And if you’re in the market for a vibrator, especially one that you will use together with your partner, this one’s definitely worth considering.

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Secret Vibe

I received a tip from Sean, the owner of Sexy Bondage Restraints, who is also a reader of this blog. He pointed me to a new item he has stocked that appears to that appears to be one that I’ve been trying to find for over a year! After taking a look at it online, I think he’s right–this just might be it!

To set the stage, one thing that Joy and I like to do is go out on “date nights”. Date night is not just a trip to the movies or a visit to a nice restaurant for dinner. We eat at restaurants fairly frequently, but merely going out for a meal doesn’t constitute a date night. For us, a date night means that we go somewhere out in public, but our Dominant/submissive rules are in place while we are out. Oh, they’re not out in full view for everyone to see–we try to pass as just another couple under casual scrutiny at least. But underneath, where it’s not quite so obvious, things are a bit less vanilla.

What do I mean when I say that our D/s rules are in place? Well, most of the time D/s for us pretty much ends once we’re outside the walls of the bedroom. But on date nights, I pick what Joy will wear, and I expect her to comply. I’ll instruct Joy that she needs to put on a short skirt and no panties, for instance, or that open tip bra I like so much. I might require her to wear a choker (because they look so sexy…almost like a collar) or the bondage belt I wrote about the other day. I’ll order from the menu for her if we’re having a meal, and sometimes afterwards, perhaps even in the car in the parking lot, I might require her to provide me with a special favor, and I suspect you can guess what that might be if you try.

Sometimes, though, it’s fun to go a step further. We own a leather harness that is built to keep an anal dildo in place, and a couple times I have put this harness on Joy underneath her skirt, with the appropriate dildo inserted where it belongs, before we have left for the evening. The feeling of fullness it provides (along with the sense of security that the dildo will not slip out that the harness guarantees) has made for particularly fun evenings.

But the problem has been that the dildo we have is just that…a dildo. It doesn’t vibrate. Wouldn’t it be even more fun, I’ve often thought, to have a vibrating dildo in the harness instead, one that I could turn on and off while its inside Joy, even when we’re out in public?

And that’s how my mission to try to find a wireless, remote control, harness-compatible anal dildo started. I’ve looked high and low online, and I even made a trip out to a local brick-and-mortar sex shop to ask them if they had heard of anything that might fit the bill. I found vibrating anal plugs galore, but only a few of them were wireless remote control, and of those, none had the proper shape to fit into our harness. Until now, my search has been unsuccessful. However, as I said above, I think Sean has come through for me.

The product he has located is called the Genius Secret Vibe. Great name because it’s made to be secret when one is wearing it! Let’s take a quick look at how it stacks up to my requirements:

  1. Vibrating Anal Plug? Yes!
  2. Wireless Remote Control? Yes!
  3. Flat bottom that it is harness compatible? Tentative Yes

Note that last “tentative yes”. That’s the only possible issue that I can see–the bottom is a suction cup and is made of flexible rubber, and while it’s the right shape for our harness, I’m not positive it’s rigid enough to stay in place. I’ll have to get my hands on it to confirm.

We haven’t tried the Genius Vibe yet, so I can’t report out on our satisfaction at this point, but once we get it I’ll post a full review. In the meantime, I’m going to start thinking where we need to go for our next date night! Hmmm…someplace where Joy will have to keep a straight face no matter how hot the party gets underneath her skirt…

Enjoy Yourself!

Jake

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Question for Female Readers

I have a question directed toward female readers. They’re the ones in the best position to know, as it has to do with vibrators.

Joy and I own several models of vibrator, and we’ve tried quite a few others that we no longer own for one reason or another. We have used traditional vibrators, we have used anal vibrators, we have used rabbit vibrators, and we even have used one that’s made to simulate (sort of) a thrusting-in-and-out motion. A few we didn’t like, but most have been, at a minimum, serviceable.

Many vibrators offer variable speeds, and that makes sense. Sometimes it’s fun to ramp things up–we often begin our play on “low” until Joy is good and lathered up, at which point I increase the vibration velocity to push her well and truly over the edge into ecstasy. And Joy, when she has played solo, likes to be able to adjust the speed to match her level of excitement as well.

However, in addition to the basic “low, medium, high” speed settings, many models of vibrator have begun to offer vibration patterns. In other words, rather than a constant bzzzzz, these vibrators have one or more pre-programmed patterns of buzzing, where the speed of the vibration varies from zero to high according to a built-in script. Sometimes the script calls for a constant series of quick buzzes (bzz…bzz…bzz…bzz), sometimes it calls for long, then short (buuuzzz…bzz…buuzzzz..bzz), and sometimes the pattern is more complicated than that.

This behavior seems to be more prevalent among the higher-end toys, and especially with the rabbit vibrators. One model offers three different patterns, the next offers four, and another offers seven. The message in the online advertising for that last model seems to be implying “Why settle for three when you can have seven???”

Do you remember back in the 70’s when blenders came out for the kitchen? I’d never heard of one (I was, after all, a child), and then all of a sudden they were all over TV commercials, and in between sitcoms we’d sit through an add for the latest offering from Hamilton Beach or Cuisinart or Kitchenaid. Each blender claimed to be better than the last, and one of the ways they tried to differentiate themselves was by the number of different speed settings they offered. One had three settings, another seven, and when my family finally caved and bought one, the model we purchased had eleven different speed settings, if I remember correctly.

Do you know what we discovered after we unpacked that monstrosity from it’s box and set it up on the countertop? Once you turned it on, it kind of didn’t really matter whether you pushed the button for chop or whip or puree. The noise the blender made was different, and I’m sure the blades turned faster, but the end result? It was still a milk shake or a fruit slushee. The extra speed settings were superfluous.

That’s kind of our feeling on these various different pre-recorded vibration patterns. We’ve tried them together, and the net result when we use them is less, rather than more, excitement. Joy’s tried them solo as well, and she tells me she’d prefer a constant buzz and to use her hands to vary the angle and location of the vibrator to match exactly what feels best, rather than relying on a built in pattern. In other words, just like puree, they are superfluous.

Actually, I find them worse than that–they’re often a slight obstacle. Usually the vibrator cycles through the various settings, starting with the constant buzz at low, medium and high and then moving into the patterns. If you accidentally go too far and pass the high setting, you have to cycle through all the pattern options and then back through low and medium to get back to high. Not that big a deal, I know, but it’s inconvenient.

So, anyway, this brings me to my question for readers. Are Joy and I missing something here? Do some of you like the vibration pattern options, and if so, how do you use them? I’d hate to think we missed out on an opportunity for fun and excitement, so if you’re a fan of these things, please educate us!

Thanks very much for any information you provide, and enjoy yourself!

Jake

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New Review Added: Waterproof Turbo Glider Raspberry Crush

I have just posted a review of the go-to vibrator that Joy and I use in 90+ percent of our BDSM adventures. It’s the Waterproof Turbo Glider in the Raspberry Crush color scheme. This is a traditional vibrator without a lot of fancy bells and whistles, but you know what? It doesn’t need them. It does a far better job than any of the other, more elaborate models we’ve tried. If you’re interested in a vibrator, consider this one–it does wonders for Joy and I!

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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