No Such Toy

I like to peruse the various different BDSM and Sex Toy vendor sites looking for new and different additions to add to our collection. Over the years Joy and I have gotten a lot of pleasure out of the various pieces of equipment we own, and while some purchases have disappointed, many others have proven valuable indeed. While it’s fun to browse online, these days most of my purchases come because I have an idea for a scene, and I need something specific to turn the vision I have in my head into reality.

Sadly, though, I have several times now envisioned a piece of equipment, gone out to find a reasonable approximation of what I have in mind, and discovered to my chagrin that said piece of equipment doesn’t seem to exist. How disappointing! While there has been a fair amount of innovation in the sexual equipment marketplace over the last couple decades, there is still much room for new ideas!

With that in mind, I thought I’d describe three items that I wish existed, and which I would buy if they did exist. Perhaps some innovator out there will take these ideas and run with them. If so, let me know—I’ll be your first customer!

  • Remote Control Wireless Vibrating Butt Plug: I’ve been looking for this for literally years, but without success. Having Joy wear this item out on a date while I carry the remote in my pocket and can activate it when I choose would be highly exciting for both of us! Why does no one make one of these? The characteristics required are as follows:

    • Wireless remote control operation
    • Shaped and sized so that it can remain in place while walking out in public
    • Shaped so that it can remain inserted on its own—this would probably need to leverage a harness to ensure it stays in place, and I already have one that would work provided that the base fits into a standard strap-on mount
  • Panties with Attached Remote Control Vibrating Dildo and Vibrating Clitoral Stimulator: Perhaps I simply want too much of a good thing with this item, but what I’d like is a pair of panties with a built-in, vibrating vaginal insert, plus some sort of clitoral stimulator (similar in basic concept to the rabbit portion of a rabbit vibrator) as well. I’ve seen other vibrating panties, but frankly have been unimpressed. They don’t get enough leverage to be able to bring Joy to orgasm. The panties I envision would resolve that issue by fitting snugly (perhaps latex would be the right material?) as well as including both interior and exterior stimulation. As with the butt plug described above, I’d like these to be wearable under a skirt out in public, and controlled via wireless remote. Once again, I suspect these would drive Joy wild on a date night, plus they’d come in handy during scenes in which Joy is required to provide me with oral sex.
  • A truly subtle set of dress bondage cuffs and collar. I’d want these to be strong enough to be functional, and yet elegant and discrete enough to pass in public. That means they probably must be metal (I can’t see how leather could pass), no padlock motifs, and the attachment points must be subtle rather than overt o-rings. Joy would get a kick out of wearing these out and about, and knowing that as soon as we were behind closed doors, I could have her helplessly bound in them.
  • I’ve also noticed that there’s a severe lack of well-made, elegant bondage furniture available. There are certainly various metal chairs, racks, cages, etc, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, for instance, a pretty and padded spanking table, one that would mingle the comfort of fine furniture with the severity of being unable to move while being spanked. Or a bondage chair that enforces wide-spread legs and offers attachment points for hands both above the head and behind the back of the chair, while providing a cushioned surface on which the bound party sits. I picture wood and upholstery rather than metal bars or plastic. Think of furniture that you’d be proud to have in your living room if you never had vanilla visitors and you’ll have the basic concept in mind.

    To the best of my knowledge, BDSM furniture like this doesn’t exist. I went so far as to build my own spanking table but I don’t have the skill to be able to make truly fine furniture as I envision. Mine is hardly a work of art, though it’s highly functional, and it badly needs some built in padding to improve the experience of being bound. Sure wish I knew how to do upholstery—I’d take a stab at an improved version.

    Anyway, so that’s my wish list of BDSM equipment that doesn’t seem to exist. If you, good reader, know of products that meet the needs I’ve outlined, by all means, please point me to them! Thanks very much, and…

    Enjoy Yourself,

    Jake

Setting the (Spanking) Table


Today I thought I’d venture briefly into the world of BDSM furniture (aka “dungeon furniture”). Frankly, most BDSM practitioners don’t own any furniture dedicated to their hobby. After all, pieces of furniture tend to take up space and cost money, and they can be hard to explain to friends and family who come to visit. However, they can also provide you and your partner with a lot of fun, and as you progress from “hobby” towards “lifestyle” along the BDSM path, the likelihood that you’ll find the lure of some kind of dungeon furniture irresistible becomes higher.
I’m going to focus on one particular item of furniture—the spanking table. Other furniture options certainly exist, ranging from cages to stocks to the St. Andrews Cross. However, for my money, the spanking table is the most useful and intimate, and it’s the only BDSM furniture item that Joy and I own.

What is a spanking table? Generally speaking, it’s a table that positions a submissive partner in such a way that when they lay on it, their rear end is highly available for paddling. To imagine how this works, think of a footstool or ottoman. If a submissive lays face down across the footstool so that their belly and head are supported while their knees remain on the ground, then the footstool is playing the basic role of a spanking table.

However, a good spanking table takes this further than an ottoman ever could. For starters, the surface of the spanking table should be angled, so that the submissive’s rear end sits higher up than their head when they lay down upon it. The base of the spanking table must be very sturdy and stable, as it needs to be able to support the weight of a submissive who may very well be somewhat excited during usage! The surface of the table must be smooth and comfortable for the submissive to lie on for long periods of time. And spanking tables should have connection points built in so that the submissive may be effectively bound in position.

Joy and I own a spanking table—it’s our single piece of BDSM furniture. I built it myself, and while it looks a little homemade, it has performed admirably in many adventures to date. Oh, sure, I’d make some changes if building another one, but all in all, it turned out pretty well for a first effort. You can see a picture of it inserted in this post. It has a rounded rear edge for comfort, connection points for Joy’s hands at each side (though for more severity, I often prefer her hands bound together behind her), connection points for her knees at the back (they can be bound either apart or close together), and a connection point for her collar inset into the surface of the table.

So, that’s what a spanking table is. But how do you use one? Well, as always, I can’t answer how you might use one, but I can certainly tell you how I use ours! Our spanking table has the ability to help Joy feel severely confined, and I often like to capitalize on that. Here’s what I did with it a few weeks ago:

Imagine Joy standing on her knees before the back edge of the table. Leather cuffs hold her hands firmly locked behind her back. I place a blindfold over her eyes, ensuring that it blocks her vision. Because I always like for Joy to have a penis in her mouth when being spanked, I insert the penis gag and fasten it tightly around her head. By this point, Joy’s nipples have come to attention due to the feeling of helplessness and the knowledge of what lies ahead. I attach a snap hook to her collar, then bend her forward over the rear edge of the table, pulling her head down and lifting her hips slightly so that she lays fully across its surface. I snap her collar to the connection point on the table, ensuring she cannot lift her head, and then connect her thighs to the back side of the table.

The mental picture you should now have is Joy, gagged and blindfolded, laying head down, butt up, across the table, with her hands cuffed behind her back and her collar and knees locked down so that she cannot rise. Her bottom is bare and exposed in perfect position for spanking. I spend some time heightening her excitement—because her vagina is nicely exposed when she lies at this angle, hands, tongue and vibrator all work nicely for this. And when she’s breathing hard and squirming in her bonds, I take up the paddle and bring it down upon the tender flesh of her bottom. A dozen good strokes, along with liberal use of the vibrator, brings her off nicely. And then, after she’s reached her first climax, I enter her from behind…

You know, the mere act of writing this has inclined me to bust out our spanking table for our adventure tonight. Don’t tell Joy! It’s more fun when it’s a surprise.

Enjoy yourself!

Jake

Do-It-Yourself Spanking Table

A month or so ago, I wrote that I had dusted off my old woodshop skills from high school and begun working on a build-it-from-scratch piece of bondage equipment. I actually finished the thing a couple weeks ago, and Joy and I have now given it a couple of good test drives. And you know what? It worked out pretty well, especially for a first effort!

Oh, I made it from scrap wood, and I didn’t try too hard to make it perfect or beautiful–I was shooting for a working prototype. Nonetheless, it doesn’t look too bad, and as far as functionality goes, it turned out very nicely! Joy now has her very own spanking table (okay, well, I get to share it, too). And now that I’ve done one (and learned a lot in the process, by the way, maybe I’ll try to build a second model with good wood that’s a lot closer to perfect.

Here are a couple pictures so that you can see what it looks like. For those that may not be familiar with the concept of a spanking table, picture Joy (or whoever else you’d like to imagine) lying down on it with her rear end sticking up over the high end. There are three different connection points on that end so that her thighs can be secured either together or apart, depending on my preference. Her hands may either be bound to connection points on the sides, or (my personal favorite) they may be bound behind her back. And there is a central connection point (it’s highly visible in the top-down shot) where I can attach the d-ring of her collar.

If you can visualize this, you’ll quickly see how convenient this position makes her butt for spanking or any type of rear entry. More than that, once she’s on the table she’s pretty much helpless to free herself, a concept that turns me on no end. We’ve enjoyed this greatly so far.

I was a little worried about whether it would be comfortable enough to lay on, but it’s proved okay. Lots of sanding and several coats of lacquer and the surface turned out nice and smooth. Joy says she likes it! Anyway, I thought it might be of interest to show what even an amateur can do to make their own equipment if they are motivated enough by having bondage as a hobby.

Enjoy yourself!

Jake