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Another Review…

…of my book, Exploring Dark Dreams: A Beginner’s Practical Guide to BDSM. Hopefully one day I’ll get enough of these that I won’t feel compelled to share them word for word on this blog, but for now, this is still new enough that I’m going to do so.

5.0 out of 5 stars

This was just the book I needed. It provided explanations and information in an easy to understand and relatable fashion. I had been trying to find information regarding this subject that is relevant to when you are already in a relationship or married. Unfortunately there is not much available out there. Most books focus on beginning an altogether new relationship or arrangement. This book fills that void in the literature. I also really enjoyed the input included from the wife’s perspective. If you are looking for information on BDSM and are already in a relationship or married this is the book for you. But even if you are new to the scene and curious and not in a relationship or married you can still gain valuable knowledge. The author presents the topics and information using actual examples and scenarios which I find is not always the case in other books about the subject. You won’t be sorry if you buy this book.

Thanks very much to whoever posted this review on Amazon, both for the kind words and for purchasing the book in the first place! I hope that it proves useful in your relationship!

Enjoy yourself,


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First Review

Just got the very first review of my e-book on BDSM, Exploring Dark Dreams, on Amazon. I don’t know who this reviewer is, but thanks very much for the kind words, and glad you enjoyed reading it. Hope it proves useful!”

“Incredibly (deliciously) detailed. Everything you ever wanted to know in delightful and easy to follow descriptions. Loved how the author used straightforward language and honesty to set the scenes and keep the reader interested. I read this in chunks so I had plenty of time to absorb everything. Great book for beginner’s and the curious. Oh, and the voyeurs 🙂 Highly recommend!!”

Enjoy yourself,


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Many women believe that being beautiful means being perfect (or as near to it as humanly possible). They therefore strive for perfection–perfect hair, perfect teeth, a perfect smile, a perfect figure, a perfect manicure–and make every effort to mask their perceived flaws, their “imperfections”. However, I believe that this assumed axiom–perfection equals beauty–is fundamentally wrong.

When considering a hypothesis, it is often useful to look at the extremes, the “edge cases”, to see how the hypothesis reacts when it is pushed to its farthest boundaries. The limits are often where a hypothesis fails, and therefore where it can be most easily proven flawed. Let’s consider the idea perfection = beauty when it is carried to an extreme.

Let’s picture a world where all women are physically perfect. “Perfection”, as defined in the USA in today’s culture (established, of course, by the media and entertainment industry), would likely mean that everyone would have blonde hair, blue eyes, be athletic, 5′ 10″ tall, weigh 130 lbs and have D-cup breasts. So that’s exactly what all women, everywhere, would look like.

Now, let me ask you, in this world that we are imagining, what woman would be beautiful?

The answer, of course, is none. The females in this imaginary world are all the same–none can be differentiated from any other. In this world, no woman would be beautiful. What they would be, from a physical perspective, is monotonous. I submit that at the edge, the perfection = beauty hypothesis fails. Instead, we discover that perfection = uniformity = boredom.

Do you know who would be beautiful, though? A stranger, introduced into this world we picture, who has a “flaw”. Perhaps she would have dark hair, or brown eyes, or a crooked tooth, or a freckle on her cheek. Perhaps her body-type might tend more to 160 lbs than 130, she might be shorter or her breasts might be B-cups, or she might have a bit more softness and a bit less muscle. Perhaps she might have many of these “flaws” rather than just one. It doesn’t matter. Because she would be unique, she would immediately be the most interesting and attractive woman in the world.

It is precisely our imperfections that differentiate us from everyone else in the sea of sameness, that make us stand out, that make us attractive. True beauty, for woman or man, lies in the imperfections.

This is a large part of the reason that I am not, in general, a fan of things like breast enhancements. Cosmetic breast enhancement serves as a way to allow a woman to try to copy what she perceives to be the perfect breast. In other words, it allows her to change the distinctive breasts she has owned from birth to match, as closely as possible, some sort of “perfect” ideal. This is also why I generally prefer the unshaven look to a completely bare pubus–removing all pubic hair also removes the individual variations of pubic triangle that each woman possesses, and replaces them with sameness. For both breast and bush, I suggest that it is usually far wiser to capitalize on the uniqueness that each individual has been given than to try to change to conform to “perfection”.

One of the issues Joy struggles to overcome when we engage in a BDSM adventure is the feeling she sometimes gets that she is on display. She feels that she is part of a “show” that I orchestrate for an audience–in this case, an audience of one…me…but an audience, nonetheless. She is usually naked or semi-clothed, she is bound in a compromising position, and I pay close attention to her every move and reaction. Being on display this way exposes, in her mind, her every flaw. All her imperfections are visible and unmistakeable and on parade, and she becomes very self-conscious.

Sexual excitement can help her overcome this feeling, but even at her most excited, it frequently remains a problem. When Joy reaches orgasm, she worries afterwards about how she looked, and whether she did anything stupid or foolish or ridiculous in the throes of her passion. About the only thing that really eliminates this concern for her is if she feels that I, her “audience”, was so distracted by taking my pleasure in her body that I could not possibly have been “watching” her.

Joy is correct in her belief that I see her imperfections when we are together. Of course I see them, just as she sees mine. What she is wrong about, however, is her belief that I see them as flaws. After these many years of marriage, I know her body, its shape and curves, and I revel in it. The things she believes I see as a shortcomings, I instead regard as endearing and distinctive. They are the small things that, together, add up to define the physical shape of Joy. They are the qualities that make her beautiful. Of course I love them, just as I love her.

Sadly, it is difficult for her to accept this. Sometimes I wish that Joy could see herself through my eyes, the way that I see her…that might truly be the only way for her to understand.

Enjoy yourself,


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Thank You

Just wanted to write a quick note of thanks to all those who have purchased my book, Exploring Dark Dreams: A Beginner’s Practical Guide to BDSM! I really appreciate your support, and I hope that you find it helpful, educational, interesting, or all three.

I’ve learned a tiny bit about the e-Publishing business on Amazon in course of writing and publishing it (though I am by no means anywhere close to being an expert–for a true professional in this area, see Renee Rose, the author of many highly entertaining, erotic romance novels that prominently feature spanking as part of the story), and as I understand it, e-Publishing depends on a sort of snowball effect to become successful. One must first get sales, which drive placement of one’s book higher in the Amazon rankings, which raises the book’s visibility. This drives more sales, which again, in turn, increases rankings, and so on…you see how it works.

The trick is, of course, to start the snowball rolling. So, once again, I appreciate all who have purchased it, and if that includes you, I have a favor to ask. Yes, this is a bit presumptuous…after all, you’ve already done me the favor of buying the book. However, those who have purchased it are the only one’s who can help with this particular favor.

I’d like to ask you to review the book on Amazon. Reviews are another way to become more visible and become ranked higher, and they can convince a potential reader who is on the fence about making a purchase to go ahead and buy. If you enjoyed my book or found the information in it useful, it would be really helpful if you said so in a review.

My apologies if that’s asking a lot–as I said, I really appreciate all you’ve done already, and if the review is too much, so be it. However, if you’re able to assist with this, I would be very grateful.

Sorry for the non-BDSM-themed post. LCSB will return to more traditional themes with my next post, which I am already working on…

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Stocking Stuffers

Uh, oh–I just looked up and realized that time is running out! Christmas is almost here! How did I not notice until now?

The good news is that I’ve done most of my shopping already, and I’m feeling pretty comfortable with the gifts I’ve purchased for Joy. The only thing that’s left is her Christmas stocking–the one hanging from the hearth in the living room. So far,it is alarmingly empty. Hmm…what could I find for her that I know she’d like, and that is small enough to fit into a stocking? Let me think…

Bondage Tape Aha! This will fit easily! And I have this idea of trying to bind Joy’s breasts with tape…because it is sticky it won’t slip off so easily in the throes of passion, or under the tender ministrations of the riding crop. Gifting this to Joy will let me enact my nefarious plan!

Locking Anal Plug – – Joy has always had a curious fascination with this item, and while it’s a bit pricey, it may be time for me to break down and get her one. Though I suspect she may discover that it is is one of those toys for which she has a love-hate relationship, I’m quite sure she’ll thank me for it…after all, I will be the one with the key!

Lube – – Come on, who doesn’t need more lube? I don’t think we’ve tried this kind, but how can the Swiss Navy be wrong? I think it would be good to give it a go, and it ought to fit into the stocking quite easily.

Vibrating Nipple Pads – – Just happened upon these, and I suspect Joy might find them intriguing. As far as I can tell, they are not any sort of clamp, but instead stick on like pasties. I’m a little concerned about the quality of manufacturing–we’ve had a bad experience with a different, vibrating nipple toy–but it might be fun, the price is right, and they’ll fit in the stocking.

Fluttering Kiss Dual Stimuation Hitachi Magic Wand Attachment – – We love our Hitachi Magic Wand (best tool ever for forcing Joy over the edge into orgasm), and the three or four attachments we have see frequent use. This one is different, though–it flutters, and is supposed to simulate the licking sensation of a tongue. Joy will have to give a full report out after Christmas to let y’all know what she thinks.

Leather Armbinder – – Okay, you’re right–this won’t fit in the stocking. But I’ve had a fantasy about binding Joy in one of these for years! Plus it’s leather, and you know how I feel about that. Picture Joy bound strappado-style with her arms raised behind her so that her bare breasts hang free. What kinds of wicked things could I subject her to? Just imagine!

Well, this list should help the stocking situation out rather nicely, don’t you think? Of course, Joy might bring up the idea that most of these gifts are really more for me than they are for her, but I think that’s just the Grinch talking. Don’t you?

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