Posts Tagged general bondage

Leather Cuffs and Silken Bonds – the Book

I have finally completed something I’ve been threatening to do for a long time. I have written an e-book. Joy assisted in both the editing as well as adding a few contributions of her own. It’s called “Exploring Dark Dreams: A Beginner’s Practical Guide to BDSM”, and it’s available via Amazon.

It is meant to provide information for people who are curious about, who are just starting out exploring, or who fantasize about bondage, Domination/submission, and sadism/masochism. It covers everything from BDSM basics, to safety, to equipment, to techniques, to adventure starter ideas. In short, it’s a guidebook to help you get started on your journey.

It’s available just in time for Christmas, so if you know a couple who might benefit from adding a little D/s to their relationship (I personally know at least two!), it might make a fun gift. It might even make a good gift for a partner who you hope to convince to play our sort of reindeer games with you.

Full-disclosure—while there is original content in the book, much of it is pulled from the years of blogging I’ve done on this site, and you could gain most of the information it provides by going back and reading through all my various years of posts. However, the book puts it all together in a logical, coherent format and makes it easily portable. Plus, you can’t give a blog to someone for Christmas.

Hopefully it’s also a fun read. If you buy it, thank you! And if you buy it and enjoy it, a review on Amazon would be much appreciated!

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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Of Ropes and Breasts

When it comes to bondage, I’ve mentioned before that I tend to be a chains and cuffs kind of guy rather than a rope aficionado. For me, the bondage is a means to an end—I want Joy to feel helpless, and cuffs and chains (or adjustable ties) accomplish that goal effectively and efficiently. While I recognize the artistry that true rope experts can engage in with their complex webs of knots and strands, it’s simply not my cup of tea. The scent of the warm leather cuffs and the clink of the chains as Joy struggles against her bonds calls to me far more strongly that an artistic tie.

Even so, there are times when cuffs and chains simply won’t work, or at least won’t be very effective. In those situations, rope becomes the best option, and because of that, we include several lengths of bondage cord in our arsenal of equipment. The most common situation that requires me to “bust” out the rope is when I decide to bind Joy’s breasts.

Why bind Joy’s breasts, you ask? Doing so doesn’t really make her more helpless or restrain her in any way. What’s the point?

Well, there are actually several points (including two “points all her own, sitting way up firm and high” as Bob Seeger once put it).

  • The first is that it excites Joy. I confess that I’m not quite sure why this is so—I suspect it’s more the concept that her breasts are bound than any physical sensation—but the fact remains true nonetheless.
  • Second, there is no denying that the sight of Joy’s bosom nicely framed by black bondage cord is quite captivating. I definitely enjoy the view when we go this particular direction.
  • Third, the constriction of her tender flesh causes the blood to collect in her breasts, which has the interesting effect of making her nipples become even more sensitive than usual. This extreme sensitivity is highly desirable, in my opinion, regardless of whether we have sensual stimulation or something more…cruel…in mind.
  • And speaking of something cruel, the final good point is that binding Joy’s breasts provides extra support, in somewhat the same way as a bra, helping them to stand out proud from her body and framing them up nicely for the spanking I am about to deliver to them.

Yes, spanking is where we usually end up. Sometimes I use my hand, sometimes our leather slapper, sometimes even the crop or the switch, but in general, when they are bound, Joy’s breasts get a bit of slapping around before we are through. The combination of fear, pain and sexual energy excites her so—Joy is never wetter than when she gets her tits thoroughly spanked. And an added bonus is that they remain tender and therefore more sensitive than usual for a couple days afterwards, a fact that can be utilized for all kinds of fun in follow up adventures.

In most cases, binding breasts cannot be effectively done using cuffs or a chain—there’s no good way I’ve ever found to connect cuffs or chain to a female breast. However, for a reasonably busty female (Joy is a C cup), a rope is both flexible enough to wind around the body and can get enough purchase on the skin to grip a breast nicely. Problem solved!

There are several ways to bind the female breast, but as you know, I tend to favor the simple. Here’s a link to an instructional video that will show you how to create the same tie that I often use for Joy—I recommend it if this is your first time trying this form of bondage.

One other word of advice—the bosom is a tender part of a woman’s body. Rope that you buy at the grocery store or the local Home Depot isn’t necessarily made for use on delicate skin, and may easily abrade the tissue. Because of this, I suggest purchasing rope specifically made for bondage. Not only will it look nicer, but it’s designed for use up against human skin, and will keep abrasion to a minimum.

Enjoy yourself!

Jake

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Friday Adventure Recipe: Hogtied and Helpless

Recipe for Hogtied and Helpless:

The hogtie is a bondage position that emphasizes helplessness. With her hands and feet gathered together and bound behind her back, this position ensures that your submissive partner can do little more than wiggle under your touch. In today’s adventure, we will further emphasize her state of helplessness with a blindfold (and optionally a gag as well) and then capitalize on it by seriously overloading her sexual circuitry.

One of the drawbacks of the hogtie position is that it makes any form of intercourse difficult. Never fear, however, as we will work around that problem by finishing up in your partner’s mouth. As usual, please note that though I’m writing from the perspective of a male Dominant with a female submissive partner, genders and roles could be changed without too much difficulty to fit your situation.

You Will Need:

Instructions:

For this adventure, you’ll need your partner’s nipples and genitals exposed, so she should be dressed in clothing/lingerie that facilitates this. This could be anything from an open cup bra and crotch-less panties to nothing at all—the choice is yours. You may dress yourself however you see fit—since your partner will be blindfolded, your attire is not much of a factor.

Lay out your equipment so that it is ready for use. No need to worry about keeping it out of sight—it won’t impact anything if your partner guesses what you plan for them. The only possible exception to this might be the gag if you plan to use it, and that’s only because it’s always so much fun to make your partner open her lips and take the gag when she’s not expecting it.

If you do choose to use the gag, remember to be careful of your partner’s breathing, and arrange for some sort of “safe signal” to replace your normal safe word, as she won’t necessarily be able to speak intelligibly.

  1. Begin by bringing your partner to a nice, steamy simmer with kisses and caresses. Keep raising her temperature as you attach the cuffs to her wrists and ankles.
  2. Continue to kiss her and caress her as you place the blindfold over her eyes. And then give her one final kiss before you insert the gag between her pretty lips and fasten its straps in place behind her head.
  3. Gently, but firmly, place her face down on the bed (or the couch, or the floor, or wherever you want her to lie). Bring her wrists together at the small of her back and fasten them with the hogtie (or alternatively with a rope or a snap hook, depending on which you choose to use). Then grasp her feet and pull them up and back until you can connect her ankles to her wrists using the hog tie (or the rope or a snap hook) as well. At this point she should be helpless–blindfolded, gagged and bound in the hogtie position.
  4. Now, roll your partner over until she is lying about three-quarters on her back. (Avoid making her roll over too far or she will have her weight on top of her hands and ankles, which will quickly become intolerably uncomfortable for her.) This will nicely expose her breasts and vagina, and note that because her hands and feet are bound behind her, there is very little she can do to prevent you from doing whatever you’d like to these delicious parts of her body.
  5. Use your hands and mouth to raise your partner’s temperature to a full boil. When she is gasping and squirming and fully lubricated, pick up the vibrator. This is no time for subtlety and gradual build up—turn the setting to high and apply it directly where she likes it the most.
  6. Remember I mentioned we would overload your partner’s sexual circuitry? While the vibrator is working its magic on her genitals, use your mouth and free hand to play with her nipples. Kiss them, lick them, suck them and nip them. Pinch them between your fingers and roll them back and forth. In the presence of great arousal, nipples often seem to convert pain to pleasure, and this is the effect we are going for here. Watch your partner and read her reactions to make sure you don’t go too far in this direction—you want to be sure you are giving her the “good” kind of pain. If you exceed her tolerance for this, however, you’ll cross over to the “bad” kind of pain, and that will detract from the experience rather than adding to it.
  7. If all continues to go well with the nipple play and you want to go a step further, try this. Use your finger to “flick” her erect nipple. Start out gently, and watch how she responds. If her reaction seems to be more positive (as in, “Ow, that turns me on!” rather than “Ow, that hurts!”), you can increase how hard you flick it. Joy only likes this when she’s truly excited–if she’s not extremely aroused, it hurts. But when she is in the proper state of arousal, it drives her crazy.
  8. Your goal is to give your partner multiple orgasms. In fact, ideally you’ll keep her squirming and bubbling for orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. Go until you think she can’t possibly take anymore. Since she is so helpless, she won’t be able to stop you, and so will have no choice but to keep on coming. The only exception is, of course, if she uses her safe word (or safe action if you are using a gag).
  9. When you decide to stop, don’t give her time to compose herself. Instead, remove the gag (if you’re using it), then grasp her hair and position her head so that you can enter her mouth. Thrust in and out between her lips until you reach your own climax. The choice is yours whether you come in her mouth or across her face–either will work just fine.

Commentary:

If you’d like to emphasize the feeling of Dominance (and conversely, your partner’s feeling of submission) in this adventure, consider choosing to give your partner a facial rather than coming in her mouth. Once you’ve done so, leave her bound for a few minutes so that she’s unable to clean herself up and must lie there with your sperm on her face (but stay close by–it’s not safe for your partner to be alone when she is gagged and bound). When you decide it’s been long enough, take a cloth and gently wipe her face for her before you free her.

Other bondage positions besides the hogtie will work for this adventure as well, of course, and if you decide that intercourse is a must, you could certainly unbind your partner’s legs to make it more easily possible. Another gag alternative might be a ring gag, which would enable you to penetrate your partner’s mouth without having to stop to remove it.

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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Friday Adventure Idea: Serial Sex

Recipe for Serial Sex

Back in my younger days I studied a bit about electronics, and one thing I remember is the difference between serial and parallel circuits. If you plug components side-by-side into a circuit board so that electricity can flow through them all simultaneously, that’s a “parallel circuit”. On the other hand, if you plug them in one after another in a line, so that electricity must first flow through component number one before it can get to component number two, that’s placing them “in series”.

Now, before you decide you’ve somehow stumbled onto the wrong website, let’s switch our frame of reference from electricity over to sex and BDSM.

From this perspective, “in parallel” corresponds to a person servicing multiple partners at the same time. In other words, a threesome is a sexual parallel circuit, with two “components” plugged into the “circuit board” at the same time. Rather than thinking about parallel circuits, however, today’s adventure recipe focuses instead on the “serial” sexual experience. In this scenario, your submissive other half is used first by one partner, then another, and then one more. Each lover takes their pleasure in series before passing the submissive on to the next.

Stop! No, we’re not really going to invite friends over for a play party! This adventure is between you and your partner, and nobody else. However, we are going to try to give your partner at least a bit of the feeling they might have if they were used by multiple lovers, one after another. Hopefully they will enjoy themselves!

As always, I write this from the viewpoint of a male Dominant with a female submissive wife. Some specifics may change, but the general theme of the adventure holds true even if genders and roles are swapped.


You Will Need:

Instructions:

Dress your partner as brazenly as possible for this adventure. Break out the crotchless panties, the open tip bra, or even the corset. Help your partner to channel her inner slut (and let’s be honest–even the most proper person has an inner slut)! You, on the other hand, should wear something to cover up the strap on you put on before the start of the adventure. Pajama pants, sleep shorts, a pair of loose-fitting boxers…any of these will do.

A quick aside on the strap on: You may feel a little odd about using one of these. After all, don’t you have a perfectly good penis that you were born with? But you are about to spend what could easily be upwards of a solid hour screwing the Bejesus out of your partner. They say that the average duration of intercourse is between five and six minutes—you are going for ten times that. Your goal by the time you are through is to leave your partner in a semi-comatose, thoroughly and completely used, utterly spent and satiated state. Trust me when I tell you that the strap on will be your best friend for this activity. And fear not—your own, built-in dildo will get plenty of action at the end of the adventure. If you don’t already own a strap on, go buy one. Both you and your partner will thank me for it!

  1. Lay out your equipment while your partner is dressing. Retire somewhere out of sight and put on the strap on, pulling your pants/shorts up over it so that it’s hidden (except for the bulge it makes, of course).
  2. Begin the adventure by preheating your partner thoroughly using whatever techniques you know she likes. While preheating her, place the cuffs on her wrists and ankles.
  3. As you put the blindfold over her eyes, tell her that you expect her to be a very naughty girl tonight. Let her know that she will be used by several different men, and she will be required to give them whatever they want. Feel free to let her know that you will punish her if she does not. Tell her she should expect to be “constantly filled with cock for the next hour”. Note that you are making no serious attempt, by the way, to make her believe that this is real—rather, you are acting out a fantasy with her. Even though she is fully aware that this is not reality, the idea you’ve planted about what she is doing will add plenty of zest to the evening. The point of the blindfold is to leave her imagination free to visualize herself in the scenario.
  4. Once she is blindfolded, remove your pants/shorts. Guide her down to her knees and tell her that her first new friend is here to use her. Grasp her hair, steer her head to the strap on and make her suck it. I suggest you be just a bit rough here to help her get more fully into the scenario. Admire the sight of her lips as they glide up and down the shaft of the dildo.
  5. When you’re satisfied that she’s made the dildo good and happy, pull her up onto the bed and use the snap hooks to connect each wrist to the corresponding ankle in the classic wrists-to-ankles position. Lay her on her back and play with her body, using hands, lips and tongue to provide stimulation. When she is good and ready to service you, spread her thighs and mount her.
  6. If you haven’t used a strap on before, go slow. Depending on what size you bought (and some may be quite large!), it may very well be bigger than what she is used to. Ease deeper and deeper—her vagina will soon become willing and able to accommodate it.
  7. Ride her as long as you wish. Ask her if she likes to be fucked by a strange cock while you do so. After a short while, break out the vibrator and apply it to her clitoris. Between the strap on, the vibrator, and the lingering idea of being used by a stranger, we are not messing around here. She should be quite excited (and that’s possibly the understatement of the year).
  8. When she has climaxed at least once (go for more if you can–I recommend you spend at least 10-20 minutes moving inside her regardless), stop and take a short break. Lie on top of her, still inside, for perhaps a minute or two. Then withdraw. Tell her she is not done and that she “has another cock to service.”
  9. Turn your partner over to lay on her side, her wrists still bound to her ankles. Lie beside and behind her, so that you are “spooning”. Enter her in this position, then wrap arms around her and play with her nipples, caressing, pinching and rolling them as you thrust in and out. Ask her “Do you like to be fucked by another man right after you made the first one come inside you?” Apply the vibrator again (the angle will be awkward, so if you prefer, you can free her hands and let her use it herself while you thrust into her and play with her nipples). Your goal is to bring her to another climax. Hopefully you’ll succeed—if it doesn’t appear that you’ll be able to, you can stop, but again I’d suggest at least 10-20 minutes of sexual intercourse.
  10. When you are done, stop and take another break, remaining inside her as you lie together. After a few minutes, you can begin slowly and gently thrusting again. Tell her that you liked to watch her being used by those two other men, and now you want to have her, too.
  11. Withdraw from your partner and remove the strap on. If her hands are not already free, free them. Again grasp your partner’s hair and use it to make her suck you until you are good and ready. Then mount her in whatever position you wish and ride her forcefully. Joy and I switched over to anal sex for this third round, so that’s an option if you wish. Use the vibrator if you’d like and again do your best to bring her to another orgasm. Point out that you are now the third man she’s making come inside her in the same night. Last as long as you can before you reach your orgasm.
  12. When you are finished, cuddle her and caress her. Let her know she’s been a good girl. If you desire, tell her that you liked watching her be such a slut, coming on man after man, cock after cock, right in a row.

Commentary:

Obviously this is a bit of an endurance test for both you and your partner. If lubrication becomes a problem, feel free to use some additional lubricant. And if it appears that your partner is not enjoying the lengthy bouts of intercourse, go ahead and shorten them. Joy could go all night, I think, but everyone is different and the goal is to have fun, so accommodate your partner’s needs and desires as you see fit.

In addition to the option of incorporating anal sex, potential variations would include changes to the positions used and to the suggested dialog. Customize these however you like. It’s also certainly possible to incorporate a bit of spanking during the hand offs between one man and the next if desired or if your partner isn’t playing her role cooperatively enough.

With any luck, you may help your partner set a new record for most orgasms in a single night with this adventure.

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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Friday Adventure Idea: Beginner’s Bondage

Recipe for Beginner’s Bondage

One of the audiences I try to write for is beginners—people who are either just starting to experiment with or are curious about experimenting with BDSM. This adventure recipe is meant for them. It’s very basic, and is suitable for those who have just dipped their toe into the bondage pool, and are now ready to take their first step into the water.

Not that this scenario won’t be fun for more experienced couples! There’s nothing wrong with a mixture of sex and a bit of basic bondage, and bells and whistle can be added to amp up the BDSM quotient if desired. As usual, I have written this from the perspective of a male Dominant with a female submissive partner, but tweaks could certainly be made to switch roles and genders if desired.

I’ve tried to keep the equipment list as simple as possible under the assumption that many beginners won’t necessarily have bondage equipment. Hopefully vibrators are plentiful enough that most beginning couples would have at least one stashed somewhere…

You Will Need:

  • Four old neckties (or you could use cuffs and rope if you have them—I would generally not advise rope alone as it may abrade your partner’s skin or tighten excessively under pressure)
  • A vibrator of your choice

Instructions:
Instructions:
Any sort of lingerie would be appropriate for your partner to wear for this adventure. If you want to instruct her on what you like, that’s fine, or you can give her free rein to select her outfit. Assuming your partner will be receptive to being bound, I suggest providing no advance notice about what you have planned and surprising her—leave the ties and vibrator in a non-obvious, but handy location so as not to ruin the surprise. If you have doubts about whether she’ll want to participate, conversation and perhaps some advance preparation is in order, and you might want to read my pages on Introducing Bondage into Your Bedroom. It is essential that sufficient trust exist between you and your partner, or she will be afraid rather than excited, and that’s not at all desirable!

    1. Preheat your partner thoroughly—you want her to be well and truly aroused before you introduce the bondage aspect of the adventure. Kisses, caresses, petting…all would be good ideas to raise her heat level!
    2. Once she has reached the proper temperature, look her in the eye and let her know you would like to try something new. Bring out one of the neckties and knot it around her left wrist. Lay her back on the bed and stretch her arm up and out to the top left corner of the bed. Use the tie to secure her arm in place (tying it off to the leg of the bedframe should work if you have nowhere else to fasten it). Repeat this activity with the other tie and her right arm, this time fastening it to the top right corner of the bed. Your partner should now be lying on her back with hands outstretched and bound overhead.
    3. Now that her arms are secured, spend some time to appreciate your partner. Appreciate her breasts, which are now freely available. Appreciate her nipples, which are probably sticking out like little rocks if being bound is new to her. And feel free to explore the rest of her body so that she can enjoy the sensation of feeling helpless to resist. Perhaps the idea of “enjoying feeling helpless” sounds a bit odd, but trust me—per my wife Joy, it can be quite exhiliarating.

  1. When your partner has experienced a bit of helplessness and feels nicely appreciated, fasten the other two ties to her ankles. Don’t fasten them to the bottom corners of the bed, however, but instead tie the ties off to the sides of the bedframe at the midpoint of the bed so that your partner’s legs are bent and and pulled somewhat apart. Don’t pull these ties too tight—you want your partner to have some ability to position her legs comfortably and to lift them up around you when you mount her, but be certain you don’t leave enough slack to enable her to close them together. Again, you’re attempting to establish a feeling of helplessness within her, and you want her to be fully aware that she cannot help but spread her thighs.
  2. When her legs are secure, take the vibrator in hand and mount your partner. Ride her for a short while, then bring the vibrator into play to stimulate her clitoris while you move inside her. Your goal at this point is to use your penetration as well as the clitoral stimulation to overload her pleasure circuits. Go for as long as you can, and try to hold back until she’s had at least one orgasm. Go for more if you can hold out!
  3. Eventually you’ll reach your own climax. If your partner has not finished and still wants to play, remember that you have the vibrator to assist her. It’s very wise to help her have as much fun as possible so that she wants to try this experience again.
  4. When everyone is done, set your partner’s legs and arms free and cuddle her on the bed. Remember your goal is to make this a very positive experience, filled with both excitement and closeness, so that repeat performances are welcome!

Commentary:

As stated above, this adventure is very basic and is aimed at beginners. Variations to increase the BDSM-level are easy, however. A gag, a blindfold, nipple clamps…all could easily be incorporated. If anal sex is already in your mutual repertoire, it’s also eminently possible to go there rather than into her vagina when you mount her. Another option would be to add a bit of role-playing context to the situation—perhaps you won the rights to your partner in a bet, for instance, or maybe you’re the photographer in a bondage photo shoot and you decide to take some liberties with your model once she’s helpless. I imagine you get the idea…

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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