Posts Tagged do it yourself bondage

Home Improvement

I did a little work in the playroom this afternoon. Oh, nothing major, but it occurred to me that if it’s truly a playroom, where we do not need to worry about what people will think because they’ll never see inside it, then there were a couple additions I could make that might prove handy. One will solve a potential problem that Joy sometimes worries about, and the other…well, it’s just an idea I saw that I thought would come in handy at times.

Among other things, our playroom contains (surprise!) a bed. It’s queen-sized, and is placed so that the head butts up against the wall. The headboard is low, and doesn’t offer many pleasing options for tying off a set of cuffs. Therefore, the first thing I did today was to set two hook eyes into the wall, one to each side of the headboard, up about a foot and a half from the level of the bed. They’re good, solid hook eyes, and I put them into the wall studs, so they’re not going anyplace no matter how Joy thrashes or pulls.

The purpose for these connection points is to allow me to run a line from a cuff on each of Joy’s hands through the corresponding hook eye and then back out to attach to her same-side ankle or thigh (depending on my preference). If I pull her legs up and back before tying them off, the line will both keep her arms stretched out and back above her head and keep her legs up and apart all at the same time. The beauty of this, in my mind, is that it uses her own body against itself. If she tries to lower or close her legs, the lines will pull on her arms and prevent her from doing so. If she tries to pull her arms down, the lines will tug her legs up and apart even further, again stopping her. Equal and opposite forces, using the hook eye as almost a pulley–it’s a simple concept, I know, but it hadn’t occurred to me until I saw it in action. We’ll see if Joy likes it!

The other modification concerns a potential problem Joy worries about that has to do with balance. One position that we both think is fun is to have Joy ride me in the woman-on-top position. There’s nothing surprising about that, but my preference is to have her arms bound behind her during her ride. This position provides a lovely turn-about on the standard, vanilla woman-on-top, where the female is in control. In our version, I retain control, because without the use of her hands, there’s little that Joy can do except ride, while I, on the other hand, can assist her with her labors, play with her breasts and nipples, and provide clitoral stimulation to my heart’s content. Plus Joy gets off hard and fast in this position, so everybody’s happy!

However, she worries about toppling over. She has no hands available to be able to catch her, and while I tell her not to fear and that I will catch her if she starts to fall, nonetheless, she’s brought up the concern several times. And her point is valid–if she started to topple and I didn’t catch her, she could fall and hurt herself.

So, today I installed a hook eye in the ceiling above the bed. My thought is that rather than cuffing her hands behind her as she practices posting on my personal saddle, I can instead cuff them overhead. This preserves a good bit of the control I desire, while at the same time providing her both balance and a means to catch herself if she should start to fall. I’m not sure how well I’ll like this–there’s something I treasure about binding Joy’s hands behind her back–but I expect Joy will find it pleasing, so we’ll give it a try.

See what I mean? Nothing major–just a few pieces of shiny metal sticking out of the wall and ceiling. But how much fun I expect they’ll provide us! I just hope my mother-in-law doesn’t decide to take an impromptu do-it-yourself tour of the house and find her way into the playroom. It would be pretty hard to explain them! Guess I’ll have to double-check to make sure the door stays locked…

Enjoy yourself!

Jake

Tags: , , , ,

Location, Location, Location

Joy and I are lucky. We have a special “play room” that we dedicate to our sex life together. Having the right environment in which to share a BDSM adventure with your partner is important!

Bondage and BDSM bring with them some special, environmental requirements. Oh, not so much if you’re just starting out, just dipping a toe into the BDSM pool. Then anywhere you can be private for an hour or two would probably do. But if you’re going to make this a hobby (or obsession…), here is an (incomplete) list of environmental requirements you might find your need:

  1. You’ll want a location where you can be safe from interruption. It’s one thing if a friend or family member walks in on you when you’re having sex. It’s quite another when they walk in while you are strapped down and being paddled. A lock on the door is a good idea.
  2. You’ll require somewhere that is relatively sound-proof, or at least where no one is likely to hear you. A BDSM scene can definitely be louder than a standard romp in the hay…at least, it can if you’re doing it right!
  3. It’s also nice if there is storage in the room so that you can keep your supplies somewhere secure. Lacy lingerie in your closet won’t raise too many eyebrows, but a ball gag on the shelf could generate questions.

    If you keep at this for awhile, you’ll find that you can accumulate quite a hoard of equipment. You’ll have interesting ideas and want to buy something special to be able to enact them, and then you won’t want to throw it away when you’re done. After all, you might need it again later! A chest of drawers, a wardrobe or even an entire closet is not out of line. The ideal state would be a secure storage location with locks to keep out prying eyes.

  4. If you have the opportunity, it’s good to have your play room somewhere besides the bedroom you share with your partner. By doing so, you can more fully separate your real life from your fantasy life (unless, of course, your fantasy life is your real life). And that way your bed can act as a safe zone, where you can just be comfortable being you.
  5. If you get really into this and decide you need some purpose-built bondage furniture, you’ll need a place to put it as well. This could be a closet to lock it away in, or if you have a dedicated room, you can store it there and keep the door locked. That way you don’t have to drag it out and dust it off when you have a need to use it. And your aunt won’t drop by and ask why that bench has all those metal hook eyes sticking out of the sides.
  6. The other thing you may find you want to do is make modifications to the playroom itself to support your “hobby”. I’ve mentioned before that one of the first things Joy and I did was install a hook eye in the ceiling. You may find you want hooks or other connection points in various locations (make sure you attach them to a stud, or you’ll wind up with holes in your walls). If you’re space constrained, I suppose you could try to camouflage the connection points by hanging a plant on them or something, but it’s better to place them in discrete locations or again, to have a dedicated room where you don’t mind if they’re out in the open.

Again, no need to worry too much about these things if you’re just beginning or simply experimenting a little bit. But BDSM can be quite a seductive activity. If it works its magic on you, these are things you’ll want to consider as you go forward along it’s dark path…

Enjoy yourself!

Jake

Tags: , , , , , ,

Crisco Party

Crisco” is a brand name for at type of all-vegetable shortening. Back in the bad old days, back before the internet and even before pornography went mainstream, Crisco was famous for something besides frying chicken. Do you know what it was? No, it has nothing to do with food!

Crisco came to be well known in the gay community for use as an anal lubricant. It’s slippery and persistent, and does an excellent job of helping things slide into tight holes. This idea migrated from homosexual circles across into the fringe of the heterosexual arena, and I can remember reading references to “Crisco Parties” when I was young, in which a plastic tarp was laid down and all guests got naked and covered themselves with Crisco. The idea was for the party to become a slippery, sliding, mass of writhing, intertwined bodies, with any available hole being penetrated by any available organ. “Crisco Twister” had a brief heyday as an adult party game as well.

Last year, just for fun, Joy and I held a Crisco party of our own. We purchased a painter’s tarp and spread it across the bed, then took turns rubbing each other with Crisco until we were slippery all over. I had lit a few candles and put them up around the room, and Joy looked so lovely with her slippery skin shining in the candlelight! We then slid and slithered over, across and into each other, tickling and laughing, kissing and rubbing, finally culminating with a lengthy stay in Joy’s fine rear end. Our Crisco-Party-for-two made for a fun change from our typical bedtime adventure, and though a post-coital shower was necessary, as a fringe benefit, we both ended up with such soft skin!

Crisco makes an excellent anal lubricant. It’s low cost, and a little goes a long way. From everything I’ve been able to find on the web, for anal use it’s safe. That being said, however, one drawback is that it is not safe for vaginal use, and you should use care to ensure that you don’t let it migrate from back to front, if you know what I mean. The anus cleans itself (obviously), but the vagina doesn’t have the same cleansing mechanism, and therefore it’s possible for leftover Crisco to remain inside and go bad, possibly causing an infection. For this reason, we typically leave the food-products in the kitchen and use a purpose-made sexual lubricant, such as Astroglide, when extra lubrication is called for.

I suspect our Crisco Party was a one-time, now-we-can-say-we-did-it kind of affair. The mess and extra cleanup probably outweigh the added fun once the novelty has passed. But that one time was a bit of an adventure! There are other interesting, food-related options available that we haven’t yet explored, though. I wonder if Joy would be up for a round of Jello Wrestling? Best two out of three falls, perhaps…

Enjoy Yourself,

Jake

Tags: , , , , ,

BDSM Travel Kit

Joy and I are off on a post-holiday jaunt out of town for a little R&R. One of the great things about the internet is that you can post from anywhere! However, being out of our normal routine provides many distractions that will probably result in posting being a bit light for the next several days. Packing for this trip has made me consider a topic I thought would make a good candidate for discussion, though. I’m talking, of course, about your BDSM travel kit.

What’s that? You don’t have a BDSM travel kit? Well, perhaps you should put one together! There’s no telling when you and your other half may need to get away for a few days, and some things are simply too much fun to leave behind!

The first thing I’d recommend considering when you create your travel kit is whether or not it will be subject to the scrutiny of airport security. If the answer’s “no”–perhaps you’re just driving over to the next city for a few days or something–then the sky is pretty much the limit, acknowledging of course that your supplies must be transportable. Let’s reflect, however, on the more difficult scenario–one in which you will by travelling by air, and must concern yourself with what the luggage inspectors might examine in your bag.

Tip number one must be to pack anything potentially embarrassing in your checked luggage, rather than in a carry-on bag! We’ve all heard the horror stories of the backup at the x-ray machine where something suspicious shows up on the scanner, and after digging through the lingerie, the polite people in uniform wearing those rubber gloves open up the bag in question and boldly dsplay the massive, purple vibrator that was the source of the problem. Heck, they probably make you turn it on to prove it works before you can bring it on board! Anyway, don’t let this be you. Keep your “unmentionables” in your suitcase and let the techs working behind the scenes look through it in private if they need to, rather than in the public eye.

That being said, however, a vibrator makes an essential part of any BDSM travel kit. We generally pack a go-to, all-purpose model to provide the maximum flexibility when it comes to usage. More than that, we choose one that’ss relatively small and light, so as not to weight down the luggage too badly. For the amount of space it takes up, a vibrator is well worth bringing along.

Vibrators have become relatively vanilla these days. If you’re staying with relatives and your aunt happens to enter the room you’re sleeping in to give you some fresh towels, for instance, and happens to spot it lying on top of the clothes in your suitcase, there may be a bit of embarrassment, but not much. Basically it sends the message that you’re a little adventurous in the bedroom, but nothing more. The same cannot be said, however, of most other accoutrements that one might bring along. A pair of handcuffs, for instance, or that pretty leather paddle might not be quite so easy to laugh off. Even the hotel maid might raise their eyebrows a bit if she happens across those, and there’s no telling what kind of alarms handcuffs might set off if your bag is scanned. For that reason, my recommendation for most other travelling kit equipment is to improvise solutions from everyday items.

With this in mind, I generally keep a couple neckties in the travel bag, and bring them along even if we’re going to the beach. Yes, they could come in handy if we go to a nice restaurant, but they also make very serviceable restraints. If you loop them and tie them correctly, they can function as cuffs, and the extra length allows you to tie your partner’s wrists or ankles off to the bed frame. Certainly you could pack rope if you wanted instead, but ties are dual-purpose. Can you wear a rope out to a formal dinner? And not even the primmest aunt is going to blink at the site of a tie or two in your bag.

Rather than the aforementioned paddle, I recommend also including a heavy, leather belt. Belts work well for spanking when properly wielded, and again will draw no notice for appearing in your suitcase. And that way you’ve got another dual-purpose item in your bag–it keeps your pants up, and it reddens your partner’s behind so nicely when you take their pants down.

For a blindfold, bring along a scarf or kerchief. While it won’t work as well as a true blindfold, it will work well enough while travelling. Or, if you feel like you simply must have something better, get one of the inexpensive sleep blindfolds that they sometimes pass out on international flights. Those work pretty effectively, and again will draw no remark.

As far as a gag goes, again a scarf or kerchief can make a serviceable and even somewhat attractive solution. If you want to increase the feeling of Dominance/submission, consider employing the traditional “panties gag”, in which the bound partner’s underwear are stripped off them, rolled into a ball, pressed into their mouth, and then tied in place with a scarf (though, as with any gag, be careful to ensure choking does not ensue).

There’s one more essential we never leave home without. It’s our Flower Balm. Never go anywhere without your Flower Balm, that’s my motto! It definitely keeps Joy in a highly receptive state when it’s properly applied, and since it comes in a small, round tin that looks like it belongs in her cosmetics case, it’s easily worth the space it takes up.

Let’s recap what we’ve included in our kit:

  1. vibrator of choice
  2. two or more neckties
  3. a heavy, leather belt
  4. two or more scarves, handkerchiefs or neckerchiefs
  5. a small tin of Flower Balm

That’s not a lot of extra stuff to carry, and though it presents a fairly nondescript image to the outside world, you can squeeze a fair amount of kinky fun out of it! Maybe cram in an extra set of batteries sized for the vibrator if you want to be sure you don’t run out of juice. Certainly you could add to this, but if you just want to cover the basics, this ought to do it. Anyway, that’s what’s in our BDSM travel kit, and I have to say we’ve already put most of it to good use!

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

Tags: , , , , ,

DIY Switch for Spanking

As with most other areas of interest, it is easily possible to blow a wad of cash buying toys and equipment to support your BDSM habit. As a matter of fact, Joy and I recommend many different items when you’re ready to do so. All sorts of restraints, vibrators, spanking implements, apparel and other useful items may be had for a price. However, it’s also possible to make do on the cheap, using items that you might find in a hardware store, grocery store or other, non-BDSM-related location for a lot less money. I always like to point out opportunities for the budget conscious.

The item pictured in this post is a case in point. In its current incarnation, it’s a switch—a thin, light spanking implement that once upon a time was fashionable for corporal punishment. Years ago, a switch would have been fashioned simply by cutting a length of flexible tree branch-I believe hickory, birch and willow were popular-and then using it while it was still green (and therefore supple). However, in the event that you’d prefer something longer lasting, or if you don’t have a convenient tree available, you can do what I did and re-purpose another item to create one.

As you can tell from the bottom photo, this switch started out as a cat toy, the kind that has a feathered ball of fluff hanging from a string on the end of a long stick. The stick allows you to dangle fluff ball over a cat’s head to entice them to play with it. The original cost was in the neighborhood of $5 USD at one of the big box pet stores. All I did to convert it to its new purpose was to cut off the string, leaving just the stick, which has a nice finish and just enough flexibility. What could be easier than that?

You might think that something so small and light might prove trivial when compared to other spanking implements, such as crops or paddles. You would be wrong. As Joy says, this thing has “wicked, evil teeth”. It stings rather ferociously when wielded correctly, and in some ways is the most fearsome tool we have in our spanking arsenal. Because it is so thin, it will leave stripes and raise welts very easily. One must be careful when using a switch.

One can easily go online and order a fancy, leather tool for the purpose of smacking one’s partner’s bum. Frankly, if you look hard, you can probably find one encrusted with faux jewels that will run you more than $50 USD (and those jewels will probably eventually fall off during use). And there’s a certain feeling that comes from these purpose-built items that can help to build the correct atmosphere for a scene. But you don’t have to do this. You can also look around you, examining everyday items with a BDSM eye, and you’ll discover many things that can be re-purposed as this cat toy has been.

Re-purposed items can have a feeling of their own, and they’ll cost you far less.

The only caveat I would make is to be careful about safety. Items built for BDSM have been created with safety features in mind, whereas items built for other purposes may not have. For this reason, I’d avoid riskier categories (gags and collars, for instance, where the risk of choking arises) when it comes to DIY BDSM items.

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

Tags: , , , ,