Joy has a leather choker– it’s a slender, black leather collar, really, with a tiny metal o-ring attached to the front. She only wears it out on special occasions, but I always look forward to it when she does. It’s rather discrete–most people who see it probably just think it’s stylish and perhaps a little Goth. But there are few things more intoxicating than seeing her wearing a black dress with that elegant little collar, and knowing that when I take her home the dress will come off but the collar will stay on. And I imagine that there are some people who see it and speculate about what it means, and envy me…

I’ve done some looking for other items that offer a subtle hint of BDSM, but are not so overt as to be unwearable in public. Sadly, the options appear to be fairly limited. There are a variety of “dress collars” available, but most come on too strong to be suitable for mingling with the vanilla population. There are the “Story of O” rings and there are a few bracelet/cuffs that are out there as well, but once you’ve seen those, you’ve covered the gamut. And honestly, even these pretty much skip right over discretion and jump straight into padlocks.

I have a prediction. I think that BDSM is going to go mainstream in the next couple generations. That’s not such a stretch–it happened with oral sex sometime between the ‘70’s and ‘80’s. Back in 1950, oral sex was forbidden. Today, it’s accepted, and anyone who doesn’t participate is looked at as unusual. The same process is happening with anal sex right now. More and more people are trying it and discovering that it’s fun, and my bet is that within the next 10 years, it will be seen as part of normal sexual activity. So while BDSM is not “acceptable” in today’s society, I am confident that it will follow suit, and much of its taboo aspect will disappear in the relatively near future.

It seems to me that somebody out there ought to get ahead of the curve and start making some tasteful BDSM jewelry and/or accessories. There must be a sweet spot between full-fledged cuffs and a bracelet, or between studded collar and necklace, where you get a lovely piece of jewelry with just a whiff of submission about it. And how about a leather belt that’s made with a few discrete bondage flourishes. All you jewelry-makers and leather-workers out there, take heed and get in on the ground floor before the trend takes off!

However, there’s one occasion that I can think of coming up where the need for subtlety vanishes and you can actually break out some of your more overt attire and wear it out in public. Oh, yes, I know there are BDSM-themed festivals and such out there where bondage-wear is de rigueur, but I mean an occasion where you can strut a portion of your stuff right out in normal, middle America (or middle-wherever-else-you-may-be). That occasion is, of course, Halloween.

Halloween costumes provide the best opportunity for you to indulge some of your exhibitionistic tendencies while still conforming to vanilla norms. You can wear your black leather corset, cuffs and a collar and be perfectly acceptable at many Halloween parties. Or dress up as a witch and bring your manservant with you, if that’s more your cup of tea. Frankly, a few, choice items of BDSM equipment add up to a killer costume, and since you already own them (you do already own them, don’t you?), you don’t even have to spend any money to dress up. Plus think how much fun you and your partner will have, knowing that while no one else may suspect, when you get home you are going to put that costume to use for it’s real purpose.

Joy and I received an invitation to a party this year–a witches’ ball–and we’re already looking forward to it. That is, of course, the inspiration for this post. Joy tells me she’s going as a witch…think little black dress, pointy hat, black pointy heels. Add in those black, fishnet stockings I gave her recently (the thigh-high ones with the garter belt built in) plus her leather choker and a set of cuffs and I’m thinking she’s going to cast quite a spell. Oh…but I have a question! Do witches wear panties, I wonder? Hmmm… that’s something I’m going to have to think about…

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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