Posts Tagged bdsm toys and equipment

Locking Gear

Joy and I have several different sets of cuffs. There are our favorite black ones with little red hearts on them–we use them all the time. It is great fun to restrain Joy in them and watch her twist and turn in the throes of passion. I find few things more erotic than the sight of a helpless woman reaching orgasm after orgasm.

We have assorted other sets of cuffs, including a single pair of metal, police-style cuffs which have been relegated to the back corner of a bottom drawer in the playroom bureau. Though I like the weight and strength of metal, they are simply too uncomfortable and too likely to cause abrasion for Joy to wear for most activities. We have a backup pair of plain, leather cuffs that our friend Beth wore upon occasion when she visited, and an old pair of velcro cuffs that come in handy when Joy needs to be rapidly secured.

But we also have one other set of cuffs that sees occasional use, a set that possesses a unique characteristic that comes in handy once in awhile. They are unadorned black leather, heavily constructed, each made to wrap twice around one of Joy’s limbs to provide additional strength. We have one pair for Joy’s wrists, and a second for her ankles, and each of the four comes complete with a small, brass padlock. These are our locking cuffs, and when they have been placed upon her, Joy truly cannot escape their grasp without assistance.

We use them only rarely. Frankly, the extra step of having to close the padlock on each one can be fussy and time consuming, and in most cases is unnecessary. After all, while I am quite certain that Joy could, if she desired, unbuckle our favorite, non-locking leather cuffs if she wanted to and had sufficient time, she’s never tried. Why would she? I release her whenever she needs release, and she is always free to request to be set loose at any time. Standard cuffs provide plenty of restraint for any adventure, and therefore they are what we use most frequently.

The advantage that the locking cuffs bring is purely mental. Joy is quite aware that when they go on she will not be getting loose on her own, and the act of letting me lock her in them without knowing quite what I have planned for her can be…inspiring. The sound of the padlocks as they “snick” closed, one by one, reinforces the inspiration. I save the padlocks for last on purpose to capitalize on this, buckling each limb in place and then adding the padlocks–one, two, three, four.

With the padlock in place, the hasp of the leather buckle can no longer slide back through the slot in the leather that it extends through. The buckle cannot be opened without the padlock being removed. And tug as she likes, Joy is held fast, her arms and legs extended, open and vulnerable to whatever may come.

I like the feeling of power this provides, and Joy gets extra excitement from the accompanying feeling of helplessness. However, this reward does not come without a cost. In addition to the extra time required to insert and close the padlocks, there is risk involved. One risk would be that I might lose a key, making extradition challenging. For this reason, all of the locks are keyed the same, and I have several different copies of the key. However, a more serious risk comes from the reality that Joy cannot escape the cuffs without my assistance. What if, in the midst of an adventure, I had a heart attack and collapsed? (Lord knows she makes my heart pound!) How would she escape? You see the challenge here.

Hopefully this risk is a small one, but it is nevertheless real. And so, as I said, we save the locking gear for special occasions, when it is truly called for. In addition to the locking cuffs, we have a locking bondage belt which has proven useful. We also have a locking stock, which is a good idea, though poorly designed. We do not have a locking collar, and due to safety concerns, I’m not a fan of them–it is too easy for me to imagine some sort of choking situation and being unable to remove the collar quickly.

So our locking gear is only rarely used, and there are risks and drawbacks associated with it when we do break it out. Why have it at all? Well, I think it comes down to that lovely “snick” sound when the padlock closes. That sound makes it perfectly clear to Joy that she relies solely on me to free her, and that she has no choice but to comply with my wishes until the lock is opened. As the commercial says, that small noise is “priceless”.

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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Good Vibrations

I have written product reviews for a variety of vibrators that Joy and I frequently use during our adventures together. However, it occurred to me that some folks new to the world of bondage and BDSM might have questions about this. Why would you need a vibrator in the first place? Isn’t BDSM more about tying someone up and spanking them? Experienced practicioners are already well aware of the value a vibrator, but if you’re not so experienced and not already aware, read on…

The truth of the matter is that both the subcategory of bondage and the larger world of BDSM are really about a power exchange. At its most basic, one partner, the submissive, voluntarily gives up control of themselves to the other partner, the Dominant. This power exchange lends great energy to the actions that the two partners perform together, and can lead to extremely passionate, fun and satisfying sex, among other things.

So where does a vibrator come in? The vibrator provides to the Dominant a stimulation tool that never gets tired, never has a bad day, and never quits in its efforts. More than that, it comes in a compact package, and therefore can be used in places and positions where other options won’t work as well. And finally, its stimulation is more concentrated and is generally more effective at generating sexual arousal than just about any other option, including body parts arguably specifically designed for that purpose!

What I say applies most strongly when the submissive partner is female–that’s generally the target audience for vibrators. Therefore, for the purpose of our discussion, let’s assume that we are working with a female submissive. However, much of the following can also apply to a male submissive, though perhaps some techniques may need to be adjusted to accommodate differences in anatomy, and the effects will likely not be as great.

One of the great joys in Domination comes from the ability to control one’s partner, to cause them to do and feel things almost in spite of themselves. This includes, most definitely, the ability to give your partner an orgasm. There are few other things that place your partner more under your control than making them reach orgasm. As dedicated readers know, one of my favorite things is bringing Joy to a climax when her limbs are cuffed and she’s unable to do anything other than twist in her bonds. And it’s even better when we’re talking multiple orgasms, one after another, each one coming right on the heels of the last.

Using a vibrator allows me to achieve this much more often than I ever could without one. For one thing, the effect of the vibrator applied directly to Joy’s most sensitive area is intensely pleasurable to her. There is no other tool I own, including my tongue, that can create such immediate and powerful excitement. In other words, the vibrator simply does an outstanding job of applying concentrated stimulation in a highly pleasurable spot.

In addition, it can do so for a long, long time. Unless you are bionic, you simply can’t compete with it’s implacable endurance. When your tongue would get tired, when you have already reached your own climax and lost interest, when you are tired and sleepy, the vibrator will keep on going. That’s a really good thing, because one of the biggest advantages of BDSM sex is that the adventure can last for a long time, allowing lots of buildup and a nearly explosive finish. You know how you always read that women needs lots of foreplay? Well, this is foreplay that you will really enjoy, because it is just as exciting for you as it is for your partner.

Want to try something fun? Bind your wife or girlfriend’s arms over her head, then bind her legs apart. In this position, she’ll feel somewhat vulnerable, as she cannot use her arms to push you or your hands away, and she cannot close her legs. (Remember, however, that she can call a halt to everything if she chooses–this is always and only consensual BDSM!) Then, using your hands, tongue and yes, a vibrator, take your time to bring her to a climax. Give her a minute to catch her breath, but don’t unbind her. After she’s calmed down a small bit, slowly start over, using hands, tongue and vibrator (aren’t you glad now that you have it?) to get her off again if you can. And then, if you think she can handle it, go one more time. Save your own pleasure for last.

Feel free to change her position during one of the rest periods if she starts to get uncomfortable, or if you want a different angle or view, but make sure she stays bound so that she remains in your control. Ask her how she feels afterwards…but you may need to give her a few minutes to recover her ability to speak. And watch how eagerly she lets you bring her to bed the next time you try this.

After a few days or weeks of performing this activity, you may be able to start skipping the cool down periods in between, and take her straight from one orgasm to another. Joy sometimes can have five orgasms in a period of about 10 minutes. The only reason we don’t go longer is that she begs me to stop because she feels like she’s going to explode.

Another nice thing about the vibrator is that you can use it in awkward positions. Consider the hog tie position, for instance. In this position, your partner’s hands and legs are brought together behind their back and tied, leaving them nicely helpless, but also blocking ready access to her genitals. You can easily use the vibrator to reach those delicious, secret parts of her body, however, while at the same time kissing and caressing your partner’s lips and nipples, or if you’re feeling a bit less noble and a bit more selfish, availing yourself of her mouth. The vibrator will let you give her pleasure at the same time as she’s giving pleasure to you.

Or it can serve as a helping hand during intercourse. Imagine that your girlfriend or wife is tied spreadeagled on the bed, and you are inside her. You can use the vibrator to add extra stimulation directly to her clitoris as you thrust, helping her to achieve her climax at the same time as you achieve yours.

Note that there are vibrators designed for anal use as well. While you can use a standard vibrator for anal play, I recommend you get one designed specifically for that purpose. Good ones are shaped so that they can be inserted into your partner’s rear entry and remain in place on their own, which frees up the hand that you’d normally need to hold it . While an anal vibrator won’t usually bring your partner to orgasm by itself, one thing it does nicely is raise their overall excitement level. Not only does this make taking them over the brink to climax easier, but it preps them for other activities that may benefit from arousal, including pain related activities such as wearing nipple clamps or being spanked.

One thing to note is that women who have never used a vibrator sometimes need a bit of an aquaintance period to get used to it before it provides its full effect. This would be true for anal vibrators as well. Be gentle when first introducing either model, and don’t give up if your partner’s response is not as powerful as you were hoping the first time around. Chances are good that her reaction will improve as the experience becomes more familiar to her.

The bottom line to all this is as follows: If you don’t already own a good vibrator, you should get one. And if you and your partner are into anal play, you should get an anal vibrator as well. No matter what you think now, you’ll thank me after you try one or both of them a couple times. And your wife or girlfriend will thank you for it as well…profusely!

Enjoy yourself!

Jake

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Joy’s Favorite Spanking Tool

My own personal favorite tool for spanking my wife’s bottom is my bare hand. There’s a particularly satisfying “thwack” when it comes down on Joy’s behind, and I love the feeling of her soft skin under my palm and the way she jumps when I land just right. Plus, when I have her over my lap and the quarters are close, other implements tend to be cramped or crowded. My hand works best when we are up close and personal.

However, Joy feels differently, I believe. After a considerable amount of experimentation, I believe she has settled on the flogger we purchased from Conina as her absolute favorite implement for spanking. As she reported out a few weeks ago, it was the item she chose when I required her to pick a tool to be spanked with. After a couple late-night discussions on the topic, I believe I understand why she likes it so well.

The flogger is a gentle tool. I know that its name doesn’t sound gentle–the word “flogging” conjures up images of medieval punishments. However, a BDSM flogger is not the cat o’ nine tails you may fear. Instead, its “falls” (the strands that hang from the handle) have little individual bite to them when they connect–they don’t weigh enough for that. Instead of biting, they slowly build up a heat in Joy’s bottom that eventually turns to a burn. And because it’s a gradual escalation, it allows her to slowly relax into the spanking, sinking down into it bit by bit. Other tools, including my hand, are a tad more abrupt.

Now, I can certainly appreciate the benefits of the flogger, and due to its gradual approach, I have begun to use it frequently as a warm up tool. Once Joy has reached the proper frame of wind under the flogger’s tender ministrations, I then move on to other instruments…my hand, or a paddle, or the Viper’s Tongue. Because she’s already been properly pre-heated, Joy’s bottom can accept their somewhat rougher attentions more readily. And that way we’re both happy.

But I have lately discovered an additional use for the flogger that is catapulting it into a primary position in our spanking arsenal. Joy has historically been very reluctant to be spanked anywhere other than on her bottom. Oh, true, I have forced the issue upon occasion and required her to spread her legs to allow me to spank her vulva. That has been only a rare occurrence, though, and spanking other targets–notably her breasts–was something she’s always been very afraid of.

The soft and gentle approach of the flogger has, however, allowed me to begin a slow exploration of Joy’s body, allowing its tendrils to trace a path beyond Joy’s rear end and over her thighs, up her back, under her arm and around around to her breasts. It is quite the exhilarating experience to watch Joy’s nipples grow fiercely erect under the flogger’s fingers as she stands beneath the hook in our playroom ceiling, her hands bound high over her head to fully expose her body. We remain in the very beginning stages of our exploration, but this direction definitely promises excitement for both of us as we move forward. So, the flogger is rising in the hierarchy of our spanking tools. Whereas I once thought it was too soft and low-intensity, I’ve developed a new appreciation for its talents.

Lucky flogger…it gets to kiss Joy all over her body…

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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BDSM Product Review: Beautiful Sensations Embers Flogger

Slowly but surely Joy and I are working our way through the plethora of fun new items that St. Nick brought us over the holidays. And slowly but surely I’m working on reviews of the products. At the rate of 1 per week that I’m currently traveling, I ought to be caught up by about Halloween!

Today’s review is of the Beautiful Sensations Embers Flogger, our new favorite “good girl spanking” tool. For those who are not aware, Beautiful Sensations is owned and operated by the illustrious blogger Conina, and each of the floggers she sells is handmade by her. We purchased a lovely red-and-black model, and after having test driven it a few times now, it far surpasses the previous commercially-made product we owned previously.

For more detail and to see a picture (the flogger is gorgeous), please take a look at the full review. And in the meantime, I’m going to go open up the toy chest to see what it may have in store for Joy tonight…

Enjoy Yourself,

Jake

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The Chain Hoist in the Garage

We have a chain hoist in our garage. The garage is detached from the house, and serves more as a workshop than for automobile storage, though garage was its original purpose when it was built. Anyway, because of this, it’s not the dingy, dirty place you might envision when you think of parked cars and clutter. Instead, it’s well-lit, has heat in the winter, and even the floor is neatly swept to make sure wood shavings, sand, sawdust and any random insects that crawl in are evicted.

The chain hoist is set into a beam in the ceiling. It is basically a system of pulleys with a chain run through them and a hook attached at the end. Chain hoists come in a wide variety, and are used for all sorts of heavy-lifting purposes. I use mine for lifting up my lawn tractor to be able to change the mower blades and for lifting heavy projects when I work. Ours is the 1 ½ ton model, rated to lift that amount of weight, though I’ve never really tested its limit.

Hmmm…chain with a hook on the end…set in the ceiling…what does that possibly bring to mind?

Yes, you’re right. It brings bondage to mind. At least, it brings bondage to my mind. Others may not have quite the same thought process as me!

Anyway, Joy has, upon occasion, spent a fair amount of time in the garage with her wrists cuffed and pulled above her head, attached to the hook on the end of the chain hoist. Sometimes she has been blindfolded or gagged, and sometimes not. Regardless, it is quite exhilarating to have her standing there, bound and helpless, as I strip off her clothing piece by piece. The garage feels somehow much more exposed than the bedroom, and consequently fear, humiliation and arousal mix within her, creating a potent cocktail of excitement.

Of course, if I’m going to tie her hands overhead and then remove her clothing, I need to be sure that she’s wearing exactly the right outfit or we’ll run into trouble with getting the shirt and bra off. Halter tops can be a blessing sometimes! The alternative, which I’ve tried precisely once, is a nice pair of scissors and utter disregard for the state of the clothing after it has been removed. It was fun, but bras are expensive!

While hoists like ours can come with a motor to automatically raise and lower the hook, I don’t regard those as safe for bondage purposes (I envision the engine somehow getting stuck on). Ours is manual. I pull on one side of the chain to take up the slack, and the pulleys overhead transfer and magnify the force I exert. If I put together the proper bondage rig, there is no doubt that it could be used for full suspension. However, to date I have not gone there.

To be honest, suspension bondage doesn’t call to me. I tend to want to focus on practical bonds that allow me to make Joy physically helpless and take full advantage of that fact, and while the idea of suspension increases the helplessness aspect, it seems to trade off the practicality. I think suspension might be one of those things that appeals more to bondage purists, who regard the bonds and ropes themselves as the ultimate goal. For me, bondage is more of a means to an end. I don’t know what Joy would think of it–perhaps I ought to ask her.

Instead, we have focused more on spanking and corporal punishment. It is delicious to be outside of our house in a more “exotic” location. Joy definitely feels out in the open, even though all doors are closed and no one can really see. And there’s something about the hoist itself and the clacking noise it makes as the chain runs over the pulleys, taking up the slack and drawing Joy’s hands inexorably higher and higher, until she must stand on tiptoe. She cannot move much at all, and as the switch or paddle or crop comes down across her bare bottom, she can only dance slightly on her toes and await the next stroke.

When we are done, I usually settle for a nice blow job, typically with her on her knees and her hands bound behind her back. The floor is clean, but it’s still bare concrete, and it would be awfully cold to lay Joy down and use her more fully. Not that I haven’t been tempted, mind you.

I think part of the lure for Joy of being bound, spanked and used for sex in the garage/workshop is that it is such a man’s place. The idea of being taken to my lair, where she is surrounded by tools and wood scraps and enveloped by the scent of oil and sawdust, makes her feel small, out of her element, and overpowered. There’s a tinge of fear there for her, I think, but it’s the good kind of fear, the kind that informs her she’s lost control and cannot regain it. Atmospheric touches like this are small, but carry more weight than one might think.

I have considered many times installing a smaller chain hoist in the playroom ceiling to replace the hook we have there. It’s over kill, I know, and so far I’ve resisted the urge, but it certainly sounds fun.

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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