Posts Tagged ball tie position

Friday Adventure Idea: Bad Girl

Recipe for Bad Girl

In keeping with the theme I seem to be writing about this week, this adventure is a selfish one—you will use your partner for your pleasure without granting her pleasure of her own. This scenario could be used for an actual disciplinary session, which is how I originally enacted it with Joy many months ago. However, there’s no need to wait if nobody’s actually been a bad girl and no discipline is called for. One could just as easily use it as a sort of role-playing-lite adventure, in which one partner pretends that they have been bad and the other pretends that they need discipline. Either way, the actions are the same, though the feeling of the adventure will vary markedly between the two.

Though written from the perspective of a male dominant with a female submissive partner, this adventure is almost completely gender neutral—only minimal changes are required to accommodate different genders within each role! As always, ensure you have a safe word in place before you begin.

You Will Need:

  • 1 pair of wrist cuffs
  • 1 snap hook
  • a spanking implement of your choice (could be your bare hand if desired)

Instructions:
Start your partner off in her underwear. Just about any underwear will do—pick what you think is pretty or simply remove her clothes and go with whatever she has on underneath. You, however, should remain fully clothed. For this adventure there’s no need to place your equipment out of sight–I advocate leaving it in plain view out on the bed to allow a sense of anticipation to build.

  1. Inform your partner that discipline is necessary and instruct her to remove her panties.
  2. When she has done so, place the cuffs around her wrists and buckle them tightly.
  3. Lay your partner back on a bed or couch, face up. Bring her knees to her chest to form her into a ball. Pull her arms out and use the snap hook to fasten her wrists together behind her knees, so that she is in a ball-tie position, with her bottom and genitals nicely exposed.
  4. A ball-tie can be deceptively restrictive, as your partner will quickly discover. Use her legs and feet as a lever to position her as you see fit, then pick up the spanking implement. Explain that as a punishment for her transgressions she will be receiving X strokes (the value of X may vary depending on your knowledge of your partner and the spanking implement you have chosen—Joy and I used 20). Tell her that you will be counting each stroke off, one by one, and after each one you expect her to ask for another stroke (e.g. “Please spank me again, Sir!”).
  5. Begin the spanking. Hold your partner’s feet and legs out of the way with your free hand if necessary to get a proper angle. Make sure that she follows through on asking for another stroke each time—if she does not, repeat the previous stroke. In addition, as you spank her, explain to her why she is being punished. I favor the “four W’s” approach: What did she do wrong, Why it was wrong, What’s the right thing to do, and What will happen if she does the wrong thing again. Take your time—the spanking plus lecture ought to last at least six or eight minutes.
  6. When you reach X strokes, don’t stop. Continue on to at least X+3 or X+4. If your partner mentions that you were going to stop at X, inform her that you changed your mind, and that you will stop when you think she has had enough.
  7. When you feel you have reached a sufficient number of strokes, put down the spanking implement. Use your partner’s legs to turn her body around until her head is towards you. Grasp her hair and make her look at you to confirm that she understands what she did wrong and she knows what to do next time.
  8. Don’t say a word, but unzip your pants and enter your partner’s mouth. You may do so either from above or by turning her on her side and lying beside her. Use her mouth to bring yourself to orgasm, holding her head in place with a firm grip in her hair. When you come, do so either in her mouth or across her face– the choice is yours.
  9. Afterwards, use a towel to gently wipe her face and lips. Once her face is clean, release her wrists and enfold her in your arms. Stroke her hair and let her know that though you expect her to remember this lesson, she is forgiven and you love her.

Commentary:

Obviously the underlying theme behind this adventure is Dominance—you are telling your partner quite clearly that you are in control and that you expect her to obey your instructions or there will be consequences. As a possible variation, note that if you prefer to take your pleasure in an opening other than your partner’s mouth, the ball-tie position leaves both other options fully available. Other bondage positions would work for this scenario as well—possibilities abound.

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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Bondage Position: Ball Tie

As I wrote a couple days ago, I’m more of a leather-cuffs-and-chains guy than a rope-bondage guy, and therefore my version of the ball tie position I’m about to discuss is simpler and more casual than the formal ball tie that the rope team sometimes goes for. As a matter of fact, the ball tie with cuffs is one of the easiest positions of all to implement! All you really need is a cuff on each of your partner’s wrists and a single snap hook and you are ready to go. You don’t even need ankle cuffs for this, and therefore it’s a good “next step” for beginners who only have wrist cuffs, but who have already experimented with the basic hands-behind-the-back and hands-bound-overhead positions. A word of warning, however–though simple, the ball tie greatly ramps up the helplessness of the bound partner, so be sure that you’re ready for this before you proceed.

Let’s begin with a quick description. A ball tie is created when you bind your partner into a ball, with knees pressed to chest. A strict ball tie would include ankles bound to thighs as well, and perhaps hands bound behind the back or bound to the ankles, but as I said, we’re going to be casual with our ball tie. To form a ball tie using wrist cuffs and a snap hook, all you need to do is press your partner’s thighs up to their chest, then lift their arms up over the backs of their legs. Bring their hands together so that they meet behind their knees and then use your snap hook to lock their wrist cuffs together. By doing so, you roll your partner into a ball and use their own arms as restraints, preventing them from being able to unroll. If done correctly, the submissive partner truly cannot free themselves.

So what are the pros and cons of this position? And when would you want to use it? Well, let’s start with the pros:

  • The submissive partner will quickly feel relatively helpless, mostly because they really are helpless. This can increase the excitement in an adventure because the bound partner discovers that they truly cannot prevent the Dominant from using their body as they see fit. (Remember to always respect the safe word, however!) If this is the submissive partner’s first time in this position, their helplessness may come as something of a surprise to them, but it will be discovered very rapidly after the snap hook clicks into place.
  • The bound partner’s genital and anal areas are highly exposed and very much available for stimulation of all types (including oral, manual and mechanical) as well as vaginal or anal intercourse.
  • The submissive’s rear end and genital areas are likewise highly available for spanking or flogging. This fact, together with the helplessness of the bound partner, makes the casual ball tie position a good candidate for disciplinary activities, if required.
  • The submissive’s mouth and head are also freely available for use. The entire gamut of oral activities remains available, from tender kisses to oral sex.
  • Because it is so simple, placing the submissive partner in a casual ball tie is quick and easy.
  • From a comfort perspective, the ball tie position scores relatively well. While long-term confinement will present problems, reasonable time periods (such as the duration of a scene) will be endurable without too much effort.

Now for the cons:

  • The bound partner must lay on their back or side. Face down positions aren’t realistic due to precariousness of balance and the discomfort perching face down causes.
  • The bound partner’s breasts and nipples are obstructed, and therefore not easily available for play.
  • Despite the real helplessness this position offers, the fact that the submissive partner is rolled into a closed ball can provide them with a perception of still having their defenses up. After all, one’s natural, last ditch defensive action is to roll into fetal position to protect oneself. The ball tie essentially forces the bound partner to remain in a defensive fetal position, and because of this, isn’t pound-for-pound as effective as a more open position at creating a feeling of vulnerability.
  • Joy and I have used the ball tie position several times for several purposes. Because it requires so little equipment, it’s proven useful when we take a trip together and want to pack light. It also has lent itself well to spanking followed by sex, with no need to change positions, loosen bonds, etc. in the middle of the process. And this position is also the one I used when I decided it was necessary to discipline Joy for the very first time, years ago. Remind me to write about that evening one of these days in my “BDSM errors” series of posts.

    So the bottom line on the ball tie position is this. It’s quick, requires little equipment, and is highly effective at making your submissive partner helpless. If the scenario you plan does not require access to your partner’s chest, and you don’t require the added feeling of vulnerability that a more open position provides, the casual ball tie can fill the bill quite nicely.

    Enjoy yourself!

    Jake

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