John noticed her as she stood waiting to be seated. The hostess was on the phone, probably taking a reservation, and the woman had to wait for her to finish before she could get an escort to a table. John, from his vantage point at the bar, admired her long, smooth legs, revealed below the knee by the elegant dress she wore. What riveted his attention, however, was the black leather choker she wore fastened around her pale, slender neck.

The hostess, done with her call, gathered up some menus and led her to a small table on the near wall of the room where John stood. She sat primly, knees together, and thanked the hostess as she departed, leaving her alone. She looked at her watch, and then nervously twisted her head to scan the room, looking for someone.

Something at her neck caught the light…was it some sort of stone on her necklace? She opened her menu and bent forward to study it, her brown hair swaying forward and momentarily blocking his view. After a few seconds she closed the menu and looked at her watch once more, then pushed her hair back out of her face. John took a sip of his beer, held it thoughtfully in his mouth, and then carefully swallowed it. The glint of light he had noticed had come from a ring of metal set into the leather of her choker…a delicate, steel o-ring.

For just a moment his imagination got the better of him. He pictured going over and introducing himself, somehow wangling a seat at the table. Perhaps she’d been stood up, and he could play knight in shining armor. He could notice the o-ring, and ask her if she knows what it means. “Yes,” she would say, staring directly into his eyes. “I know.”

His reverie was broken. In a heartbeat her expression changed from worried frown to dazzling smile. Through the door the man she had come to meet entered the restaurant, met her eyes from across the room, and strode toward her table.

Jake’s Thoughts: I did a fair amount of searching to find a dress collar for Joy. My goal was to purchase a choker that was both elegant and discrete enough to wear out in public, but at the same time subtly proclaimed itself as a bondage collar to those who were in the know. After a fair amount of looking, I reached the conclusion that truly elegant and subtle collars are hard to come by! This collar was the one I chose, and though it doesn’t quite succeed, it’s at least in the right ballpark.

The collar is made of a slender, ½ inch strip of black leather, with a metal buckle in the back. Rivets hold a small, but functional, steel o-ring to the front of the collar. With the buckle, the collar may be adjusted to fit a variety of neck-sizes, from 12 to 15 ½ inches.

Some of the dress collars I looked at were really just chokers. Oh, some had goth overtones, and the metal ones felt vaguely Egyptian, but the problem was that they didn’t really feel connected to BDSM. This collar avoids that mistake. Sadly, it strays a little too far in the other direction—it clearly states bondage to anyone who cares to look, and since it doesn’t exactly whisper its message, it’s not hard at all to notice it. Joy, who has limits around exhibitionism, has clearly been intimidated about wearing it out in public.

The other issue it has is on the elegance side. I love leather. I truly do. However, this collar’s simple look, with steel and black leather, doesn’t really qualify for “elegance”. Sexy it has, in spades. Elegance, though…not so much.

On the plus side, let’s talk about that sexy look. Seeing Joy’s graceful neck encircled by the black leather band with that fascinating little metal ring makes my blood rise almost immediately. She looks great in it, especially wearing an elegant black dress. Moreover, while I say it’s not subtle, the collar certainly does look more like a piece of jewelry than your typical bondage collar. The message it sends to viewers is more, “Hi, I’m kinky” than “I am a slave.”

And in a pinch, the collar is functional. I wouldn’t trust it with any heavy duty activities—it’s not built for strength. But on the other hand, collars in general shouldn’t be put under very much stress anyway—there’s too much risk of choking if they are. So, if necessary, you could actually use this one as a lightweight stand-in for your normal bondage collar in an adventure.

To summarize, while this collar isn’t as subtle or elegant as I’d like, it is attractive as hell on Joy’s neck, can be worn in public without the police being notified, and can actually be used for light bondage. It’s also inexpensive, so in the end, I’m happy I bought it.

Link to Product


Slender black leather choker looks sexy around a delicate neck, but the whiff of BDSM is strong
Real leather and steel, but it's more meant to be ornamental rather than functional
The O-Ring catches your eye immediately and leaves no doubt what the wearer is into
In the right setting, this collar can be devastating, but it isn't appropriate for all audiences


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