In the overview section of this topic, I described an example scenario where Roger and Alison have been a happy, wedded couple for about five years. Over time, however, their sex life has gotten a little stale. Roger would like to liven things up a little, and has confided in his wife that he’s curious about anal sex and would really like to try it with her. Alison however, hasn’t felt quite so enthusiastic, and has been rather emphatic about her answer. “No!” about sums it up.
We’ve talked a little about reasons why Alison might feel this way, and they include bad information about or perceptions of anal sex, a feeling that it is “dirty”, and probably even a little bit of fear. (It might hurt!) In this posting, I’m going to talk about ways to start gradually helping Alison overcome some of these feelings, so that she comes to see her rear entry as a potential source of pleasure and an erogenous zone.
Wives or girlfriends, if you’re reading the following, that’s fine—there is good info here for you to learn about. But I want to let you know that the rest of this post is really targeted towards the husbands and boyfriends.
Okay, guys, first notice that we’re starting with something of a worst case scenario. Roger’s already asked Alison if she’d be willing to having him in her ass, and Alison has said “No!” In an ideal situation, Roger would have read this series of posts before he broached the subject, and he wouldn’t be in the situation of having to overcome an explicit “no”. It’s better to start taking steps down the path laid out in this series without ever asking about your intended final destination–it will make things a little easier. If your wife has never told you “no”, it will be that much easier to tell you “yes, yes!” when the time eventually comes. So if you haven’t already asked, don’t. On the other hand, if you already have asked, don’t worry–you, like Roger, can still be successful.
“But wait a minute!” you say. “What if my wife would say yes right off the bat? Then I could skip all the rigmarole you’re about to write about and get straight to the good stuff!”
Well, maybe. If you’re confident that your wife will be open to the idea, then you’ll probably be okay. But I’d still recommend you read on if you’re new to anal sex. There are several things you should do even if your wife is eager to give it a try. It’s important to make sure she has a positive experience her first time, so that she is willing to come back for another round at a later date. Many women have tried anal sex exactly once…and had a bad experience, and never given it another chance. You want to make sure that doesn’t happen to your wife…and you.
Let’s return to poor Roger. He has to convince Alison that she really does want to let him in her ass, in spite of the fact that she’s said she will not do so.
The first thing that Roger needs to keep in mind is that he’s not going to build Rome in a day. Roger needs to look for steps he can take towards his ultimate goal, steps that Alison will not be afraid of or object to. The idea here is for Roger to make incremental progress towards his destination, because trying to get there all at once will sink him like the Titanic.
So what kinds of steps can Roger take? Well, the first, best, and most-likely-to-succeed step is to use his tongue.
“Whoa!” you say. “I am not going there!” To which I answer, “How badly do you want your wife’s ass?”
Listen, if you’re any good in bed, you already go down on your wife or girlfriend. All you need to do is move your tongue a couple inches south and you’re there. Or, start with your wife lying on her belly and kiss lightly over the crease between her leg and her butt cheek (a highly erogenous area for many women), then move inwards and upwards from there. If you’re worried about cleanliness, then pick an occasion when she has just come out of the bath or shower and you know she’s squeaky clean.
I’d be very surprised if she made any objection, because it’s going to feel very good to her. Oh, she might be a bit surprised, but be gentle and unafraid. Explore with your tongue, and I bet in about a minute she’ll be gasping with excitement, and in two minutes she’ll be hot enough to singe the bed sheets.
Once you’ve done this, stop! Don’t go any further this session! Go back to your normal sexual routine, and act like nothing’s changed. Chances are good you’ll both have lots of fun because your wife or girlfriend is so aroused! If she asks about what you did afterwards, act like it was nothing surprising. “I just wanted to make you feel good,” is the line to take.
Then, for at least a couple weeks, don’t go there again. Have standard, garden variety sex, and leave her rear end strictly alone. Let anticipation work its magic–time is on your side.
So what happens when Roger tries this approach? “Roger..what?” Oh my God!” Alison gasps as Roger’s tongue finds its target. “OH…oh…” After a couple seconds Alison relaxes and let’s Roger’s tongue have free rein. A few minutes later they change positions, and Alison reaches an extraordinarly strong orgasm, clutching Roger fiercely as she climaxes.
Roger has accomplished his goal for today–he’s helped Alison to realize that her ass can be an erogenous zone, and quite a powerful one. His next goal is to give Alison time to internalize that realization, come to accept it, and decide that she wants to experience the sensation again. After a couple weeks he can move on to the next step, penetration, but for now, he needs to wait.
If you truly cannot bring yourself to follow this step, you can try skipping it and moving directly to penetration, but I warn you that your chances of success will diminish greatly. With that understanding, feel free to make your own decision…
Next Step: First Penetration