A few weeks ago, I wrote a series of articles about introducing bondage into your bedroom. Sometimes one member of a couple is more straight-laced or less adventurous than the other, and the idea in that series was to take a gradual approach to allow that reluctant party to learn to enjoy the bondage experience. If you follow this approach and have a solid relationship, I firmly believe that even the most straight-laced partner can find themselves well beyond the traditional limits of their sex life, and feeling very excited about it.

It occurred to me, however, that there’s another challenge involving a reluctant partner that happens even more frequently. Even though it’s a bit off-topic, I thought I’d put together some instructions on ways to overcome that reluctance and eventually, hopefully, turn it into desire.

Many, many men would like to incorporate anal sex into their relationships…or at a bare minimum, at least give it a try! However, many women aren’t comfortable with the idea and for one reason or another, won’t even consider it. Despite the title of this series, this issue isn’t limited to wives–it can certainly pertain to girlfriends as well. I’m going to make the assumption while I write this, however, that it does not apply to male-male relationships, as men in a gay relationship already have great familiarity with anal sex.

For the purposes of this discussion, let’s set up an example scenario. Roger and his wife, Alison, have been happily married for five years. Their sex life is okay…well, truthfully, maybe it’s a bit dull. Roger, for one, would like to be a little bit more adventurous. One adventure Roger would definitely like to try is sliding deep into Alison’s ass! When Roger has brought this idea up, however, Alison has not expressed enthusiasm. Her exact words, in fact, were, “No, I am not doing that! It’s dirty and it hurts!”

Why does Alison feel this way? Well, let’s face it–anal sex doesn’t necessarily get the best PR, or at least not mainstream PR. And there’s no denying that the part of the body it involves can be dirty. As to the hurting…well, it’s very possible that Alison has spoken to a friend who had a bad experience with anal sex where it did hurt. If the penetrator is inconsiderate or doesn’t know what they are doing, it can cause pain for the penatrate-ee, especially if they are inexperienced themselves. It’s also possible that Alison herself may have had the bad experience…perhaps even with Roger. So, it’s understandable that Alison might have reservations.

However, the reality is that, done right, anal sex doesn’t have to be dirty and it doesn’t hurt. As a matter of fact, for most women, it’s quite the contrary–once they get past their initial misgivings, they find that having their lover in their ass can feel amazing. In fact, some women seem to find it easier to reach climax based on anal penetration, and a large majority find that it at least adds to their excitement. Note that I said “large majority”, which means that this is true for most, but not all. There does appear to be a small minority of women (and probably this is true of the male population as well) that simply do not find anal sex arousing, regardless of any techniques used. I don’t know why this is. Perhaps there is a physical difference in their nervous systems? But fear not–my own experience indicates that this minority truly is small.

This series, then, is going to focus on helping Roger and Alison to discover the joys of “doing it up the bum”. It will provide information on ideas and techniques that Roger can use to gradually raise Alison’s awareness of her ass as an erogenous zone, and that Alison can use to help herself relax and enjoy the feeling of have Roger inside her rear entry. If this information is applied, I believe that the chances of Roger and Alison successfully bringing anal sex into their bedroom repertoire are high. And if they succeed, both will find that their sex life has shifted out of low gear and into high!

  • The first step is to lay the proper groundwork.
  • The second step involves introducing her to her first penetration.
  • The third step (optional) is to increase the size of the object she’s accustomed to taking inside her by employing a toy
  • With the fourth step, you achieve your ultimate goal and have successful and enjoyable anal sex with your wife or girlfriend!
  • Joy has contributed a woman’s perspective on anal sex by writing down her own thoughts. This post might be something you’d like to share with your wife!
  • Here is a list of anal FAQs. They provide quick answers to common questions on this topic.

If you use these steps to introduce your wife or girlfriend to anal sex, please tell other readers your story in the comments below! Or, if you have advice of your own to offer, please feel free to share…

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