Archive for category Do-It-Yourself Bondage

Ideal Play Room

Joy and I are fortunate enough to have a dedicated “play room”, and that’s definitely a luxury. It lets us store equipment and even furniture without worrying about it being discovered by a house guest, as we can keep the door locked when it’s not in use. It also lets us make modifications to the room itself which wouldn’t be easily explained away if they were viewable to others. However, our playroom is simply an extra bedroom that we re-purposed. Lately I’ve been thinking about what a playroom would look like if I could design it from the ground up.

  • It would be situated next to our bedroom, ideally through a connecting door. There’s no telling when something that starts innocently enough in bed might take a darker turn, and it would be very convenient to have everything located just a few steps away.
  • Soundproofing would be excellent. While we don’t often have overnight company, sometimes we have family in town that stay with us, and that paddle makes quite a “smack!” when it comes down on Joy’s bottom!
  • It would be big…bigger than a standard bedroom. We would need room for the special furniture it would house: a new and improved spanking table, a St. Andrew’s cross, naturally a bed, and I have this idea for a special reclining chair that would hold Joy in place and provide opportunities for her to be simultaneously used both top and bottom. Big would also be good in the event that we hosted a party. Can’t you just see several different pleasure stations set up in differently locations within the room, all in operation at the same time?
  • Speaking of that bed, it would certainly need connection points at all four corners and at the midpoint of each of the four sides. An overhead connection point directly above the center of the bed would be handy as well.
  • Oh, and we’d definitely need another overhead connection point in the middle of the room, with open area around it (see picture for explanation of why).
  • Naturally the HVAC system would need to be good for climate control purposes, and a sound system might also be handy in case music was called for.
  • Lots of storage would come in handy. Perhaps a wardrobe for hanging Joy’s racier outfits, some hooks to hang the spanking implements, and a chest of drawers with drawer organizers installed to hold the cuffs, gags, clamps, vibrators, and other paraphernalia.
  • Having a sink for easy cleanup would be good, but seeing as this is a wish list, let’s just go the whole way and specify a connecting bathroom, complete with shower.
  • Carpeting would be more comfortable, but a tile floor would be easier to clean. Well, let’s split the difference and do a tile floor, but with rugs that could be moved around as necessary.
  • The room should have windows to let in light, but ideally they’d be screened by trees to provide privacy. Of course, curtains could always be closed to prevent anyone from seeing in.
  • Color-wise, I have the feeling that a somewhat darker color paint on the walls would be good—perhaps something from the red side of the palette? As far as décor goes, I’m somewhat torn on the idea of erotic art—I’ve seen some with a BDSM theme that appeals, but part of me thinks that would just be tacky. What do you readers think?

Anyone have any other suggestions if you were going to build a playroom? Not that I have any imminent plans—I’m just dreaming for now. But it’s always good to dream, right?

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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Home Improvement

I did a little work in the playroom this afternoon. Oh, nothing major, but it occurred to me that if it’s truly a playroom, where we do not need to worry about what people will think because they’ll never see inside it, then there were a couple additions I could make that might prove handy. One will solve a potential problem that Joy sometimes worries about, and the other…well, it’s just an idea I saw that I thought would come in handy at times.

Among other things, our playroom contains (surprise!) a bed. It’s queen-sized, and is placed so that the head butts up against the wall. The headboard is low, and doesn’t offer many pleasing options for tying off a set of cuffs. Therefore, the first thing I did today was to set two hook eyes into the wall, one to each side of the headboard, up about a foot and a half from the level of the bed. They’re good, solid hook eyes, and I put them into the wall studs, so they’re not going anyplace no matter how Joy thrashes or pulls.

The purpose for these connection points is to allow me to run a line from a cuff on each of Joy’s hands through the corresponding hook eye and then back out to attach to her same-side ankle or thigh (depending on my preference). If I pull her legs up and back before tying them off, the line will both keep her arms stretched out and back above her head and keep her legs up and apart all at the same time. The beauty of this, in my mind, is that it uses her own body against itself. If she tries to lower or close her legs, the lines will pull on her arms and prevent her from doing so. If she tries to pull her arms down, the lines will tug her legs up and apart even further, again stopping her. Equal and opposite forces, using the hook eye as almost a pulley–it’s a simple concept, I know, but it hadn’t occurred to me until I saw it in action. We’ll see if Joy likes it!

The other modification concerns a potential problem Joy worries about that has to do with balance. One position that we both think is fun is to have Joy ride me in the woman-on-top position. There’s nothing surprising about that, but my preference is to have her arms bound behind her during her ride. This position provides a lovely turn-about on the standard, vanilla woman-on-top, where the female is in control. In our version, I retain control, because without the use of her hands, there’s little that Joy can do except ride, while I, on the other hand, can assist her with her labors, play with her breasts and nipples, and provide clitoral stimulation to my heart’s content. Plus Joy gets off hard and fast in this position, so everybody’s happy!

However, she worries about toppling over. She has no hands available to be able to catch her, and while I tell her not to fear and that I will catch her if she starts to fall, nonetheless, she’s brought up the concern several times. And her point is valid–if she started to topple and I didn’t catch her, she could fall and hurt herself.

So, today I installed a hook eye in the ceiling above the bed. My thought is that rather than cuffing her hands behind her as she practices posting on my personal saddle, I can instead cuff them overhead. This preserves a good bit of the control I desire, while at the same time providing her both balance and a means to catch herself if she should start to fall. I’m not sure how well I’ll like this–there’s something I treasure about binding Joy’s hands behind her back–but I expect Joy will find it pleasing, so we’ll give it a try.

See what I mean? Nothing major–just a few pieces of shiny metal sticking out of the wall and ceiling. But how much fun I expect they’ll provide us! I just hope my mother-in-law doesn’t decide to take an impromptu do-it-yourself tour of the house and find her way into the playroom. It would be pretty hard to explain them! Guess I’ll have to double-check to make sure the door stays locked…

Enjoy yourself!

Jake

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Location, Location, Location

Joy and I are lucky. We have a special “play room” that we dedicate to our sex life together. Having the right environment in which to share a BDSM adventure with your partner is important!

Bondage and BDSM bring with them some special, environmental requirements. Oh, not so much if you’re just starting out, just dipping a toe into the BDSM pool. Then anywhere you can be private for an hour or two would probably do. But if you’re going to make this a hobby (or obsession…), here is an (incomplete) list of environmental requirements you might find your need:

  1. You’ll want a location where you can be safe from interruption. It’s one thing if a friend or family member walks in on you when you’re having sex. It’s quite another when they walk in while you are strapped down and being paddled. A lock on the door is a good idea.
  2. You’ll require somewhere that is relatively sound-proof, or at least where no one is likely to hear you. A BDSM scene can definitely be louder than a standard romp in the hay…at least, it can if you’re doing it right!
  3. It’s also nice if there is storage in the room so that you can keep your supplies somewhere secure. Lacy lingerie in your closet won’t raise too many eyebrows, but a ball gag on the shelf could generate questions.

    If you keep at this for awhile, you’ll find that you can accumulate quite a hoard of equipment. You’ll have interesting ideas and want to buy something special to be able to enact them, and then you won’t want to throw it away when you’re done. After all, you might need it again later! A chest of drawers, a wardrobe or even an entire closet is not out of line. The ideal state would be a secure storage location with locks to keep out prying eyes.

  4. If you have the opportunity, it’s good to have your play room somewhere besides the bedroom you share with your partner. By doing so, you can more fully separate your real life from your fantasy life (unless, of course, your fantasy life is your real life). And that way your bed can act as a safe zone, where you can just be comfortable being you.
  5. If you get really into this and decide you need some purpose-built bondage furniture, you’ll need a place to put it as well. This could be a closet to lock it away in, or if you have a dedicated room, you can store it there and keep the door locked. That way you don’t have to drag it out and dust it off when you have a need to use it. And your aunt won’t drop by and ask why that bench has all those metal hook eyes sticking out of the sides.
  6. The other thing you may find you want to do is make modifications to the playroom itself to support your “hobby”. I’ve mentioned before that one of the first things Joy and I did was install a hook eye in the ceiling. You may find you want hooks or other connection points in various locations (make sure you attach them to a stud, or you’ll wind up with holes in your walls). If you’re space constrained, I suppose you could try to camouflage the connection points by hanging a plant on them or something, but it’s better to place them in discrete locations or again, to have a dedicated room where you don’t mind if they’re out in the open.

Again, no need to worry too much about these things if you’re just beginning or simply experimenting a little bit. But BDSM can be quite a seductive activity. If it works its magic on you, these are things you’ll want to consider as you go forward along it’s dark path…

Enjoy yourself!

Jake

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No Such Toy

I like to peruse the various different BDSM and Sex Toy vendor sites looking for new and different additions to add to our collection. Over the years Joy and I have gotten a lot of pleasure out of the various pieces of equipment we own, and while some purchases have disappointed, many others have proven valuable indeed. While it’s fun to browse online, these days most of my purchases come because I have an idea for a scene, and I need something specific to turn the vision I have in my head into reality.

Sadly, though, I have several times now envisioned a piece of equipment, gone out to find a reasonable approximation of what I have in mind, and discovered to my chagrin that said piece of equipment doesn’t seem to exist. How disappointing! While there has been a fair amount of innovation in the sexual equipment marketplace over the last couple decades, there is still much room for new ideas!

With that in mind, I thought I’d describe three items that I wish existed, and which I would buy if they did exist. Perhaps some innovator out there will take these ideas and run with them. If so, let me know—I’ll be your first customer!

  • Remote Control Wireless Vibrating Butt Plug: I’ve been looking for this for literally years, but without success. Having Joy wear this item out on a date while I carry the remote in my pocket and can activate it when I choose would be highly exciting for both of us! Why does no one make one of these? The characteristics required are as follows:
    • Wireless remote control operation
    • Shaped and sized so that it can remain in place while walking out in public
    • Shaped so that it can remain inserted on its own—this would probably need to leverage a harness to ensure it stays in place, and I already have one that would work provided that the base fits into a standard strap-on mount
  • Panties with Attached Remote Control Vibrating Dildo and Vibrating Clitoral Stimulator: Perhaps I simply want too much of a good thing with this item, but what I’d like is a pair of panties with a built-in, vibrating vaginal insert, plus some sort of clitoral stimulator (similar in basic concept to the rabbit portion of a rabbit vibrator) as well. I’ve seen other vibrating panties, but frankly have been unimpressed. They don’t get enough leverage to be able to bring Joy to orgasm. The panties I envision would resolve that issue by fitting snugly (perhaps latex would be the right material?) as well as including both interior and exterior stimulation. As with the butt plug described above, I’d like these to be wearable under a skirt out in public, and controlled via wireless remote. Once again, I suspect these would drive Joy wild on a date night, plus they’d come in handy during scenes in which Joy is required to provide me with oral sex.
  • A truly subtle set of dress bondage cuffs and collar. I’d want these to be strong enough to be functional, and yet elegant and discrete enough to pass in public. That means they probably must be metal (I can’t see how leather could pass), no padlock motifs, and the attachment points must be subtle rather than overt o-rings. Joy would get a kick out of wearing these out and about, and knowing that as soon as we were behind closed doors, I could have her helplessly bound in them.
  • I’ve also noticed that there’s a severe lack of well-made, elegant bondage furniture available. There are certainly various metal chairs, racks, cages, etc, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, for instance, a pretty and padded spanking table, one that would mingle the comfort of fine furniture with the severity of being unable to move while being spanked. Or a bondage chair that enforces wide-spread legs and offers attachment points for hands both above the head and behind the back of the chair, while providing a cushioned surface on which the bound party sits. I picture wood and upholstery rather than metal bars or plastic. Think of furniture that you’d be proud to have in your living room if you never had vanilla visitors and you’ll have the basic concept in mind.

    To the best of my knowledge, BDSM furniture like this doesn’t exist. I went so far as to build my own spanking table but I don’t have the skill to be able to make truly fine furniture as I envision. Mine is hardly a work of art, though it’s highly functional, and it badly needs some built in padding to improve the experience of being bound. Sure wish I knew how to do upholstery—I’d take a stab at an improved version.

    Anyway, so that’s my wish list of BDSM equipment that doesn’t seem to exist. If you, good reader, know of products that meet the needs I’ve outlined, by all means, please point me to them! Thanks very much, and…

    Enjoy Yourself,

    Jake

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Crisco Party

Crisco” is a brand name for at type of all-vegetable shortening. Back in the bad old days, back before the internet and even before pornography went mainstream, Crisco was famous for something besides frying chicken. Do you know what it was? No, it has nothing to do with food!

Crisco came to be well known in the gay community for use as an anal lubricant. It’s slippery and persistent, and does an excellent job of helping things slide into tight holes. This idea migrated from homosexual circles across into the fringe of the heterosexual arena, and I can remember reading references to “Crisco Parties” when I was young, in which a plastic tarp was laid down and all guests got naked and covered themselves with Crisco. The idea was for the party to become a slippery, sliding, mass of writhing, intertwined bodies, with any available hole being penetrated by any available organ. “Crisco Twister” had a brief heyday as an adult party game as well.

Last year, just for fun, Joy and I held a Crisco party of our own. We purchased a painter’s tarp and spread it across the bed, then took turns rubbing each other with Crisco until we were slippery all over. I had lit a few candles and put them up around the room, and Joy looked so lovely with her slippery skin shining in the candlelight! We then slid and slithered over, across and into each other, tickling and laughing, kissing and rubbing, finally culminating with a lengthy stay in Joy’s fine rear end. Our Crisco-Party-for-two made for a fun change from our typical bedtime adventure, and though a post-coital shower was necessary, as a fringe benefit, we both ended up with such soft skin!

Crisco makes an excellent anal lubricant. It’s low cost, and a little goes a long way. From everything I’ve been able to find on the web, for anal use it’s safe. That being said, however, one drawback is that it is not safe for vaginal use, and you should use care to ensure that you don’t let it migrate from back to front, if you know what I mean. The anus cleans itself (obviously), but the vagina doesn’t have the same cleansing mechanism, and therefore it’s possible for leftover Crisco to remain inside and go bad, possibly causing an infection. For this reason, we typically leave the food-products in the kitchen and use a purpose-made sexual lubricant, such as Astroglide, when extra lubrication is called for.

I suspect our Crisco Party was a one-time, now-we-can-say-we-did-it kind of affair. The mess and extra cleanup probably outweigh the added fun once the novelty has passed. But that one time was a bit of an adventure! There are other interesting, food-related options available that we haven’t yet explored, though. I wonder if Joy would be up for a round of Jello Wrestling? Best two out of three falls, perhaps…

Enjoy Yourself,

Jake

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