One of the techniques I use to assert Dominance over Joy is to require her to perform (sexual) tasks. There have been lots of different tasks over the years: going panty-free and wearing skirts for a week, for instance, or wearing her anal plug for several hours a day. These tasks assert Dominance because they require Joy to do something that I choose for her, and that she would not ordinarily do herself. Ideally they also make her at least a bit uncertain or uncomfortable (though sometimes I think she enjoys that anal plug a bit too much) so that she must make herself comply with my requirement—that way it is clear to her that she is doing what she is told rather than what she wants.
Performance of these tasks tends to excite her. In fact, that’s one of the primary benefits they provide–they arouse her and keep her excitement at a high level. Upon occasion, we’ve been able to keep things at a nice simmer for upwards of a week, leaving her bubbling and boiling with arousal during the day, bringing things to culmination at night, and then returning her once more to the heat the next morning. Weeks like that are rather fun, I have to tell you.
The task that seems to increase her arousal the most, however, I use only infrequently. I don’t want it to lose its magic due to overexposure, so I limit it to once every few months. It is, in some respects, the hardest task for Joy to complete, because it so egregiously violates her sense of propriety and her sense of what society says she ought to like. Perhaps that’s exactly why its effect is so strong upon her.
The task is simple. We own a suction-cup dildo, a nice, black rubber one, about seven inches long, with a good strong suction so that it will stay stuck wherever you put it. I lay it out in the playroom, along with a condom.
Joy is to go by herself to the playroom. She must stick the dildo to the wall at about waist height. She must unwrap the condom and place it over the dildo. She must get down on her knees and spend five minutes giving the dildo the best blow job she knows how to give, taking it deep into her mouth and down her throat. She must imagine that it is a real cock, and do her best to make it come.
When she is done, she may remove the condom and throw it away, and return the dildo to its storage location. And then she must notify me that her task is complete. Note that I am nowhere in the vicinity when she performs this task—in fact, I usually assign it during times when I know she will be home alone. She typically communicates that she is finished via text.
Now, on the face of it, this doesn’t really sound hard to do. Joy is quite happy to give me a blow job whenever I want one, so the physical act isn’t the issue. However, in this case, you see, it’s not me that she’s blowing. She has to give the blow job to an inanimate object, by herself, without me present. Moreover, she has to get down on her knees and suck it for a considerable time. The actions she must take can be seen as somewhat humiliating, and because I am not there, she gets no external reinforcement for her performance–she must rely solely on her own will to comply. This is difficult for her even on the surface level.
However, there is much going on beneath the surface of this task. When she performs it as instructed, Joy symbolically gives head to another cock, a stranger’s cock. She does so because I instructed her to. Even though I’ve never explicitly explained this to her, don’t think that she hasn’t realized what I am asking and what she is doing–my wife is a smart woman, and I’m quite certain she understands both consciously and subconsciously. In the fantasy that I require her to play out, she submits to me by performing the task and submits to the fictional owner of the pretend cock by going down on her knees and sucking him off. The idea that she must place a condom on the cock first (necessary, by the way, due to the taste of the rubber it’s made out of, but helpful to the situation nonetheless) makes the whole act seem more real.
Joy feels very funny about this whole experience. She tells herself over and over that she should not enjoy it, that it’s something she should resent, that the whole thing is pretend anyway, and that she doesn’t understand why I’d want her to do it in the first place since I’m not even there to see. I know this because she’d told me so. But despite her misgivings and how often she repeats them, here’s how effective this little exercise is. In bed the evening after the second time I required her to perform the task, she broke down and confessed that afterwards, after she’d finished her five minutes of oral services, she couldn’t help herself. She pulled off her pants and panties, turned around, and backed up onto the dildo, using it to fuck herself. And she confessed that she’d done the same thing the first time I assigned the task to her.
I’ve set her this task two times since her confession, and each time afterwards, she’s again found herself finishing up by turning around and taking the dildo into her moist and willing pussy, over and over again. And each night, when I’ve returned home, I’ve found her all riled up and ready for action, hardly able to wait until bedtime.