Recipe for No Way to Win:

A Dominant often demands obedience from their submissive partner. “Do it,” says the Dominant, and the submissive is expected and anxious to comply. Non-compliance is not desirable–sometimes, in fact, it is understood that failure to comply may bring punishment.

But imagine if the Dominant’s demand was difficult to the point of unreasonableness. How would that feel? And further, imagine that the Dominant expected to be obeyed anyway, and that the submissive had a strong expectation of punishment for failure. Can you put yourself in the poor submissive’s shoes and empathize with their growing panic as they begin to realize that they cannot comply, but that impossibility is not an excuse?

This is the premise behind today’s adventure. Be careful, however! The tone of this scenario must be light in heart—you almost need to employ a sense of humor when enacting it. Your submissive partner should recognize that you are playing with them, and that you fully understand that you’ve placed them in a no-win situation. If you insist on a deadly serious approach, you will likely get anger, frustration and tears as a result rather than the sexual submission you are looking for.

There are many other ways to implement this concept than the one I describe below. I chose this particular approach for Joy and I due to the large number of dildos we have in our collection and the way it dovetails with our long-standing requirement that Joy use her mouth to “clean” my penis after intercourse. If you don’t have a sufficient number of dildos available to follow along with the idea below, you can certainly come up with your own unreasonable task. Just remember that making it a bit demeaning as well as difficult will help ramp up the feeling of submission for your partner.

As usual, this adventure is written from the perspective of a male Dominant with a female submissive partner. However, roles and genders can be mixed and matched as desired without impact.

You Will Need:

  • 1 set of wrist cuffs
  • 1 collar with o-ring
  • 1 snap hook
  • 1 pair of nipple clamps (optional)
  • an assortment of dildos or vibrators, preferably realistic in appearance
  • 1 spanking implement, and it is best if it’s the one that your partner finds most intimidating (for us, this is our riding crop, which Joy swears has invisible teeth in the striking end)
  • a wristwatch with a second hand or some other way to measure time


You want your partner to feel vulnerable for this adventure, and the way they dress should support that feeling. One option would be to ensure they wear nothing at all—nakedness certainly can induce a feeling of vulnerability. Another option would be to break out the cupless or peek-a-boo bra and permit them to wear nothing else, and finally, a babydoll nightgown with nothing underneath would work as well. I chose to be fully clothed for this adventure to emphasize the difference between Joy’s role and my own, but you may dress as you like.

I said it above, but let me repeat. Keep the tone of this scenario light! Your partner should discover relatively quickly that you have set them an unreasonable task, and grasp soon after that you are fully aware that it is not reasonable. They should see the inevitability of their “punishment” and realize that even though they are bound to fail, you expect them to try their best anyway and then submit to the spanking that they “earn” through their failure. If you start to see frustration set in, take steps to lighten the tone with what you say or how you act to help them understand the spirit of the adventure.

  1. Lay out the selection of dildos and vibrators in the room where you stage the adventure. They can just be lying on a table or on a bed, but be sure not to stand them up on end or it may actually become possible for your partner to complete the task you are about to set them. If you want to raise the submissiveness of the adventure a tad, you could even lay them out on the floor. Joy and I have easily a dozen different vibrators and dildos, and that’s plenty. You could probably get away with as few as six if that’s all you have. Ensure that your spanking implement of choice is also somewhere handy so that you can pick it up easily when it becomes necessary.
  2. Bring your partner in and instruct her to don her cuffs and collar. Caress her, hold her and kiss her to raise her excitement level as she puts them on. Ensure that the o-ring of the collar is positioned at the back of her neck.
  3. Raise your partner’s hands up behind her neck and use the snap hook to connect both wrists to the o-ring of the collar. This will place your partner in an overarm tie, and greatly restrict her ability to use her hands and arms. In addition, it will nicely expose her breasts and underarms—take the opportunity to enjoy them thoroughly.
  4. When you are ready, tell your partner that you have something she needs to do for you. Explain to her that the dildos you have laid out need a good cleaning, and you expect her to take care of it.
  5. Your partner will likely be puzzled and not know what to do. Add a bit of pressure by telling her that you have other plans after she’s done, and she should hurry and get started.
  6. When your partner points out that she can’t clean them because her hands are bound, respond by telling her that her mouth is free, isn’t it? She knows how to clean a cock with her mouth, doesn’t she? Repeat again that she needs to get started—you want her to hurry and finish.
  7. Hopefully your partner will now begin to attempt the task you have set her, but chances are good that some level of resistance will begin to build inside her. Joy gave me “the look” when I gave her that instruction, and I took the opportunity to wink at her. Remember my suggestion about keeping the tone light?
  8. Because her hands are bound behind her head, your partner will be unable to use them to assist her in the task you have set her. She will instead have to bend over and use her lips and mouth to reposition the dildos so that she can “clean” them. This will be both difficult and rather demeaning. If she tries to get away with simply licking them, hold her waist and give her several serious smacks on the bottom with your hand. Warn her that you expect her to do a good job! And tell her again to be quick about it because you have plans for her body and you don’t like to wait! Don’t accept anything less than a full-on and fairly thorough blow job of the dildo before she can call it “clean”. Feel free to impose other requirements, such as licking the base of the shaft and the balls (if the dildo comes equipped with balls).
  9. When she succeeds in completing one dildo, tell her that it took far too long, and that she must be much quicker about the rest. Set a time limit of one minute for the next one, and use the watch to time your partner’s efforts. Tell her that if she doesn’t succeed within that time limit, you’ll be forced to punish her. But…remember to keep the mood light. Be playful rather than severe and stern when you talk about punishment.
  10. If your partner somehow succeeds with the one minute time limit, either up the ante by adding to the requirements to clean the next dildo, or reduce the allotted time. Your goal is to ensure that she fail.
  11. When your partner fails with her efforts, bend her over your knee and give her bottom a sound paddling with your hand. Then tell her she has “X” minutes to finish cleaning all the other dildos (where you pick “X” to be long enough to give her time for a good try, but not long enough to succeed). Tell her that you are out of patience, and if she fails again, you will show her what a real spanking feels like. Pick up the spanking implement you have chosen so that she can see that you intend to use it, and warn her that you will be watching to make sure she does a thorough job. Then begin timing. Feel free to tap your foot impatiently if you like.
  12. Ideally your partner will do her level best to complete her task, knowing all the while that she is doomed to fail. It’s possible, however, that she will give up. If she does, incentivize her using the nipple clamps (“These will not come off until you are through!”) or by stopping the clock and using the spanking implement to administer some interim motivation, then requiring her to start the cleaning process over.
  13. When time runs out and the task has not been finished, pretend to be sad about what you are about to do. “This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you,” might be a good line to use. Then apply the spanking implement firmly to her behind until you feel you have spanked her long enough.
  14. When you are done, you may either instruct her to “clean” you with her mouth, or you may spread her legs and ride her until you reach your climax. Do not worry about her pleasure—this is not an adventure that focuses on her physical enjoyment. Rather, maximize her sense of submission and her feeling of being your toy to play with, and you will feed her mental enjoyment instead.
  15. Afterwards during cuddle time (and she will have earned some solid cuddling!), feel free to discuss what you did. If she wants to know why you set her an impossible task and punished her when she failed, tell her it’s because you wanted to remind her that she is a submissive, and that thinking about a task or worrying whether or not she can accomplish it is not listed in the submissive job description. Instead, her job is to submit, and you may choose to reward or punish her for her actions however you choose. Tell her she did well, even if she didn’t actually clean all the dildos, and that you are proud of her submission.


As mentioned above, there are many ways to set impossible tasks. Feel free to improvise. This adventure requires a fairly deft touch, and may be difficult for beginners! If you’re worried about how your partner will react to it and want to lighten things up a bit, consider replacing each instance of “punishment” with tickling instead. With your partner’s arms bound behind her neck, she won’t be able to defend her ticklish spots, and therefore will be at your mercy.

If you don’t have a collar, you could also forego the overarm tie and simply cuff your partner’s hands behind her back. This won’t be as artistic, but it should be just as effective.

Enjoy yourself,


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