In my last post, I wrote that while my wife, Joy, likes to be spanked, she does not necessarily enjoy the sensation of pain for its own sake. In other words, pain by itself doesn’t translate into sexual arousal or pleasure for her. Spankings are exciting more because of the mental aspect and the submissive overtones they possess than because of the fact that her bottom stings.
However, one exception to this “pain is not pleasure” rule has occurred to me. That exception is the odd phenomena of nipple clamps.
For any reader that might not be familiar, nipple clamps are exactly what they sound like—clamps that close around one’s nipples, squeezing them tightly. Impromptu varieties include clothespins and paper clips, but many purpose-built types exist as well. We’ve tried many different models, and have settled onto an infinitely-adjustable tweezer-style as our current favorite.
Nipple clamps are meant to hurt. If they don’t hurt, not only are they not doing their job, but they are likely to fall off; in general, if the clamp is tight enough to remain in place, it will cause at least some pain. After a period of time wearing them, your nipples become used to them, and it becomes necessary to tighten them up a notch to continue to obtain the desired result.
But here’s the thing—somehow one’s body translates the pain of the clamp squeezing tightly on one’s nipple into something else, into an odd mixture of sexual excitement and pleasure. Oh, the pain’s still mixed in there, too, but the excitement builds off it, overwhelming it, so that one is willing to endure the pain simply for the pleasure it brings. A clamp isn’t strictly necessary to achieve this by the way…twisting, pinching or nipping at a nipple can provide similar benefits.
This describes how Joy’s body reacts to nipple clamps, anyway, and it’s how my own body works as well. Oh, I don’t wear them much myself nowadays, but back when I was an experimental teenager, I tried several improvised versions and discovered the excitement they could provide. The phenomena seems widespread, though I won’t swear it applies to everyone.
For Joy, the key to effective use of nipple clamps is to manage her ratio of excitement to pain and keep it in proper balance. In other words, if she’s a little bit excited, then a little nipple pain feels good. If she’s a lot excited, then the pain level should go up to keep pace. Trouble comes if the ramp-up of pain exceeds the excitement level—in that case, the clamp’s beneficial effect is lost, and the pain takes over.
To translate this into more practical terms, here’s how I use nipple clamps with Joy:
- Make sure Joy’s arousal level rises first, so that she’s excited before the clamps come into play.
- Attach the clamps with relatively light tension at first, so that the pain level is low to moderate. Then focus on increasing Joy’s excitement through other means, letting the pain of the clamps add to the effect.
- When arousal is seriously high, carefully tighten the clamps up a bit. This is the place where things usually go wrong—if I go too far, then I exceed the proper threshold and the situation deteriorates. But when I get it right and then continue to apply the proper “stimulation”, Joy climaxes fast, hard and repeatedly, and it’s smiles all around!
- Once we’re done, arousal levels decrease relatively rapidly. I remove the clamps as gently as possible, as the removal process can cause its own pain and the necessary excitement level to offset it is no longer present.
We don’t use nipple clamps all the time, but they make relatively frequent appearances in our adventures. I don’t know why the sensation they provide seems to be an exception to the idea that pain is pleasurable—perhaps there’s an anatomical reason in which the nerves in the nipples have some sort of connection to one’s genitalia, or perhaps it’s not so much the pain as the squeezing sensation that feels good. Whatever the reason, nipple clamps = good pain, for Joy and I at least.