While I’d love to pretend that everything I try works perfectly, all the adventures I plan for Joy are fun and end in multiple orgasms, and whatever I touch turns to gold, it wouldn’t be realistic. Nope, the best I’ve managed so far is silver, but give me a few more months and access to that Philosopher’s stone and I’m certain that…

Seriously, there are a number of things I’ve tried that haven’t gone so well, and today I thought I’d share our experiences around one of them. Y’all know that Joy likes to be spanked, right? Well, what’s spanking, really? Doesn’t it boil down to warm, stinging sensations on her hind parts? What else could we do that might exploit a similar feeling and yet offer a somewhat different experience?

That was my train of logic when I decided that we’d give hot wax a go. In my mind, I imagined that I’d bind Joy face down and drip hot wax on her bottom, engaging some of the same energy that a good spanking provides her, while at the same time tapping into the adrenaline of a new experience. However, there’s a fallacy in all this that I didn’t recognize until after this exercise was complete.

Oh, fear not—though we hadn’t played with hot wax before, I did my research. First I read up on the subject to make sure I knew how it worked and what safety precautions to take. I purchased candles made of wax with a relatively low boiling point, and then experimented on myself to find the proper height from which to drip the droplets of molten wax (the more time the droplets fall in the air, the cooler they are when they land on bare skin). I checked to make sure the dry wax came off the skin readily, and to make sure it didn’t actually burn the skin or anything. By the time I was ready for Joy to try this experience, I knew what she’d feel and that she’d be physically safe.

Joy, however, when she understood what we’d be getting up to, remained unenthusiastic. Oh, she submitted to my desire. With the air of a child being told they must eat their nasty, old vegetables, she allowed me to cuff her hands and feet so that she lay prone, her butt raised on a pillow. She whimpered as the wax came down on her bare behind, but put up with it for a couple minutes. Eventually, however, she started to get teary-eyed and I realized this was going nowhere good.

After I blew out the candle, cleaned the wax off her skin and unbound her, she lay in my arms so that we could talk about the experience. “I knew I wouldn’t like it!” she declared!

“That’s probably why you didn’t like it,” I replied.

“No it’s not! It hurt!” she responded back, her eyes flashing.

Now I know that Joy has felt far more pain during a good spanking than those drops of wax ever provided her. But realizing that, I also realized the mistake I’d made. The idea that a spanking amounts to warm stinging sensations on the behind is a fallacy. A spanking is far more than that. It’s a statement of Dominance and submission, steeped in untold ages of tradition and carrying with it all sorts of overtones, some sexual, some not. A spanking with all of the connotations it carries adds up something far greater than the physical sensation it provides on Joy’s behind.

But the hot wax? It doesn’t benefit from the same overtones. For Joy, the wax was pain, pure and simple, with perhaps a dash of fear thrown in. There was nothing sexual about it. And Joy doesn’t get pleasure from pain…or at least, not from pain alone.

So the candle’s gone into retirement, and the path to hot wax and other similar pursuits will likely remain unexplored beyond this one adventure. And that’s okay—while I’m all about helping Joy explore herself and her desires, it’s okay for us to decide some activities don’t suit our tastes. Not to say that they won’t necessarily suit yours…

Enjoy yourself,


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