A couple days ago Spanky, of the always entertaining Bright Bottom spanking blog, asked me to elaborate on the “all about Joy” nights I had mentioned in a previous post. I’m certainly not above playing requests (just not “Piano Man”, please), and so I thought that today I’d oblige and provide some more definition.

“All about Joy” nights originated because certain blog authors, not being as young as they once were, no longer always have the ability to go again and again, night after night. Nature plays a cruel trick! As women pass the age of thirty, their sex drive seems to shift into overdrive. Meanwhile, when we men pass the age of thirty (okay thirty-five), our sexual transmissions start to become a bit sticky, and it can sometimes take a little time and effort to get out of second gear. Sometimes resting your shifter for a night can help ensure a better, faster and more exciting experience the next evening.

However, just because you rest your shifter doesn’t mean you can’t have fun at the racetrack! Taking a sweet ride like Joy out for a few laps can be truly exciting even when my own transmission’s not in racing form. And this idea is how “all about Joy” was born. It’s proven to be so much fun that these days, I’d estimate we have roughly one all about Joy night a week. I have to confess, however, that sometimes when I start out with a plan to make an evening all about Joy, I discover mid-way through that my shifter didn’t need rest as much as I thought, and we transition into all about Jake.

As a side note to male readers, if you think that the concept of giving your partner pleasure while not getting the big “O” yourself is crazy, I urge you to give it a try one night. You’ll be surprised how much fun it is, how Dominant it makes you feel to play with your partner without taking pleasure yourself, and how powerfully it charges you up for the next night. Plus, your partner will be most appreciative, and that can lead to all sorts of pleasant benefits.

You may be thinking “all about Joy” means candle light, soft music, a warm bath with scented soaps, and a nice back massage. Things like this certainly could be a component of an all about Joy night, but pampering isn’t the point. Instead, on an all about Joy night, I focus on my wife (rather than myself) and provide her with intense and (mostly) pleasurable sensations and experiences. An element of pampering could be and sometimes has been involved, but as those who have explored the paths of BDSM know, intense and pleasurable can often be delivered by proceeding in other, darker directions. Recent examples include…

  • Joy is blindfolded and bound head-down and bottom-up over our spanking table, her mouth filled with the penis gag. An anal plug vibrates away in her ass as I give her a thorough paddling, alternating spanking implements to keep the experience fresh…
  • Joy’s arms stretch above her, her wrists cuffed and drawn up with a chain to the eye hook overhead. She wiggles and writhes as I use the rabbit vibrator on her pussy, inserting the shaft inside her and letting the rabbit play against her clitoris, but the chain and cuffs require her to remain on tip toe, so there’s little she can do to escape the vibrations. Her breasts, tipped with a clamp on each nipple, sway back and forth as she struggles and climaxes again and again…
  • Joy lies face down on her knees on the bed, her wrists cuffed to the insides of her ankles in classic leapfrog position. A piece of freshly peeled ginger occupies her anus, causing her to squirm as it creates its pleasant burn. I mount her from behind, penetrating deep into her vagina with our strap on, riding her as she bucks and heaves…

That’s probably enough for you to get the idea. One of the great things about this is that from my side, there’s no ticking clock during the adventure, no urgency to get to the finish. If this were a typical night, when I planned on taking my pleasure in Joy’s body, I’d feel a great desire to get to that part, the part where I’m going to explode! But on an all about Joy night, I know the explosion is not in the cards, and therefore it becomes much easier to take my time, savor the experience, and ensure Joy gets the full benefit of every activity and sensation. Frankly, on some of these nights I could probably go all night, and while Joy eventually gets worn out and pleads for me to stop, our scenes can easily last for multiple hours.

Since y’all have read this far, I’m going to divulge a little secret. Even though these nights are all about Joy, you shouldn’t imagine that I get nothing out of them. The reality is that, in many ways, all about Joy nights are the times when I can most fully experience my Dominance over her. The ability to give your partner an orgasm is a form of power, even if you are the submissive partner, even if your Dominant half is “making” you give them pleasure. On an all about Joy night, I deny even that power to Joy—I do what I wish to her, and she can do nothing to or for me. It is Dominance in a higher form, I think.

So, the reality is that “all about Joy” could be replaced with “all about Joy, except that Jake gets to feel really Dominant”. But that doesn’t have nearly as good a ring, does it?

Enjoy yourself,


Be Sociable, Share!