In our house we practice three different types of spanking. The first is our normal play spanking, which Joy dearly loves and which often serves as foreplay before getting down to business, if you know what I mean. The second is disciplinary spanking, which acts as a punishment when Joy’s submission has been found lacking. But there’s a third kind, something we’ve recently added to our corporal punishment arsenal. It’s a “good girl spanking”, and it’s different from either of the first two.
I borrowed the concept of a “good girl spanking” from somebody online…someone who I’m quite certain I list in my blogroll. Unfortunately I can’t remember who it is! It might have been Conina or Kitty or Kitty…or possibly even Riley. Or I could be completely wrong and it’s somebody else entirely. The blogger-I-can’t-quite-remember who wrote about it really caught my imagination with their post, and since that time, Joy has been the happy recipient of several good girl spankings. (Update: Turns out it was Riley in her post “Sweet Submission“. Thanks for the idea, Riley!)
Here are the qualities that distinguish a good girl spanking from either of the other two types, at least here at our place:
- Like a disciplinary spanking, Joy earns a good girl spanking. However, a good girl spanking is earned through positive, rather than negative, behavior.
- A good girl spanking benefits from kisses, caresses and foreplay before the spanking begins. The other two types of spanking are apt to begin cold, with no warm up.
- While the spanking itself is prominent, Joy receives other pleasurable stimulation during the event. This might include just about anything, but it’s focused on Joy and her pleasure rather than me and mine. Oral or manual stimulation both make frequent appearances, and the use of a vibrator is common as well. The stimulation might alternate with bouts of spanking or it might be done simultaneously with the smacks on her bottom.
- One feature of a disciplinary spanking is the dialogue (or sometimes monologue) that focuses on why the punishment has been levied. In a good girl spanking, I tell Joy all the good things she did to earn it and why she has been especially fun to be with.
- A good girl spanking is administered with my hand or our black leather paddle. We avoid the spanking instruments Joy doesn’t like (the hairbrush, the riding crop, etc.)
While I listed the differences above, of course a good girl spanking also possesses similarities to the other types of spankings as well. For instance, there’s no reduction in the force of the spanking–I find cute little pats on the behind ineffective in satisfying Joy’s needs. Also, good girl spankings may or may not take place while Joy is in bondage, just as other spankings do. And like all spankings, after it’s over, I take Joy in my arms and hold her for awhile until she calms.
Good girl spankings have become one of Joy’s favorite things that we do. Because of this, they function as a sort of positive reinforcement, and I believe she’s begun really trying to earn them. They also serve to lighten the mood of our adventures every once in awhile, and that’s a good thing. As I’ve mentioned in the past, my belief is that for every two “strict” evenings, we need an encounter that focuses on tenderness and being close, and surprisingly, a good girl spanking fills that requirement quite nicely.
I wish I could remember who to credit for this idea! Whoever you are, I owe you a debt of gratitude, and Joy is thankful as well! Just goes to show how it pays off to read around the online BDSM community–you never know when you might learn something new.