Joy and I are lucky. We have a special “play room” that we dedicate to our sex life together. Having the right environment in which to share a BDSM adventure with your partner is important!

Bondage and BDSM bring with them some special, environmental requirements. Oh, not so much if you’re just starting out, just dipping a toe into the BDSM pool. Then anywhere you can be private for an hour or two would probably do. But if you’re going to make this a hobby (or obsession…), here is an (incomplete) list of environmental requirements you might find your need:

  1. You’ll want a location where you can be safe from interruption. It’s one thing if a friend or family member walks in on you when you’re having sex. It’s quite another when they walk in while you are strapped down and being paddled. A lock on the door is a good idea.
  2. You’ll require somewhere that is relatively sound-proof, or at least where no one is likely to hear you. A BDSM scene can definitely be louder than a standard romp in the hay…at least, it can if you’re doing it right!
  3. It’s also nice if there is storage in the room so that you can keep your supplies somewhere secure. Lacy lingerie in your closet won’t raise too many eyebrows, but a ball gag on the shelf could generate questions.

    If you keep at this for awhile, you’ll find that you can accumulate quite a hoard of equipment. You’ll have interesting ideas and want to buy something special to be able to enact them, and then you won’t want to throw it away when you’re done. After all, you might need it again later! A chest of drawers, a wardrobe or even an entire closet is not out of line. The ideal state would be a secure storage location with locks to keep out prying eyes.

  4. If you have the opportunity, it’s good to have your play room somewhere besides the bedroom you share with your partner. By doing so, you can more fully separate your real life from your fantasy life (unless, of course, your fantasy life is your real life). And that way your bed can act as a safe zone, where you can just be comfortable being you.
  5. If you get really into this and decide you need some purpose-built bondage furniture, you’ll need a place to put it as well. This could be a closet to lock it away in, or if you have a dedicated room, you can store it there and keep the door locked. That way you don’t have to drag it out and dust it off when you have a need to use it. And your aunt won’t drop by and ask why that bench has all those metal hook eyes sticking out of the sides.
  6. The other thing you may find you want to do is make modifications to the playroom itself to support your “hobby”. I’ve mentioned before that one of the first things Joy and I did was install a hook eye in the ceiling. You may find you want hooks or other connection points in various locations (make sure you attach them to a stud, or you’ll wind up with holes in your walls). If you’re space constrained, I suppose you could try to camouflage the connection points by hanging a plant on them or something, but it’s better to place them in discrete locations or again, to have a dedicated room where you don’t mind if they’re out in the open.

Again, no need to worry too much about these things if you’re just beginning or simply experimenting a little bit. But BDSM can be quite a seductive activity. If it works its magic on you, these are things you’ll want to consider as you go forward along it’s dark path…

Enjoy yourself!


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