Back in mid-December, Joy and I implemented an ongoing program of maintenance spankings. We had experimented with this a time or two before for brief periods…a week here, few weeks there. However, Joy came to me and requested that we start them again, and this time with no fixed end date. In theory, maintenance spankings will now go on in perpetuity within our relationship.
Some readers may be asking themselves, “Why would anyone want to receive a spanking every night?” Even those who enjoy an occasional erotic spanking might wonder this. And to be honest, this is something that Joy wrestles with very actively in her mind as well.
According to what she has told me, she feels that being spanked creates within her simultaneous feelings of outrage and humiliation, arousal and submission, humility and peace. If this seems like a wildly confusing stew of emotions, Joy assures me that in fact, it is.
However, she goes on to explain that it also provides her a chance to share a few moments of intimacy with me, even if we’re both tired and plan to go straight to sleep afterwards. In that sense, it almost serves as a surrogate for a lengthier bout of shared sexual gratification. It also reassures her that I have devoted a period of time at the end of the day exclusively to her. It gives her something to look forward to at the end of each day, and a feeling of relaxation and peace so that she can sleep more easily when it’s over.
In my own mind, I believe that it also serves to reinforce our roles. By offering up her bottom, she declares her willingess to submit to me. By taking her over my knee and spanking her, I demonstrate my ability to Dominate her. And both of us feel reaffirmed in our relationship.
We have made the maintenance spanking process into a bit of a ritual. I have set two rules around it–Joy must wear some sort of nightgown to bed. She has free reign to decide what type of nightgown–it’s cold here right now, so flannel makes a prudent choice–but no pajamas or any sort of pants are allowed. She must also come to bed panty-free. I choose whatever implement I feel appropriate for the night; often it’s my bare hand, but sometimes a paddle or a belt feels right instead. The spanking itself generally happens “over the knee” (OTK in spanking parlance), though sometimes we vary that. Joy lies down in my lap and pulls the hem of her skirt up to bare her behind, and we commence.
The spanking lasts for a few minutes only–perhaps five minutes at most. My goal is to make it “smart” and redden her bottom, but not to venture too far in severity. After all, this is a maintenance spanking rather than discipline, and it usually begins from a cold start with no foreplay or other erotic activity to amp up Joy’s body’s awareness of pain as pleasure.
Joy tells me that being spanked always arouses her, and some nights our maintenance routine leads into more passionate activity. Other nights, though, we simply spoon together afterwards, body to body, and talk about the day. We’ve had some outstanding and frank conversations during these time periods, and I feel that this has really opened up a powerful channel of communication between us.
Oh, all has not been completely roses. Joy and I have mutually agreed that the spanking will happen every night, regardless of what took place during the day, how happy or angry we may be with each other, etc. That’s the theory, but living up to it in reality has proven to be difficult. Joy has a bit of a temper, and I tend to withdraw when she’s mad, and therefore we’ve had one interlude already where our “every night” routine has been interrupted. However, that was only a brief hiccup, and we have just made it through another potentially rough patch okay, so hopefully we’re getting better with practice.
Don’t know that daily maintenance spankings are appropriate for every relationship, but they seem to be working well for us. If you’re curious about whether it would work for you in your own relationship, consider doing as we did and trying it for a week or so. The results may surprise you.