To start, I should probably emphasize that “costume” does not mean dressing up as Super Man or Wonder Woman, or breaking out the Halloween makeup before you get started. Oh, I suppose you could, if that’s what you’re into! But when I say “costume”, what I really mean is the clothing that you and your partner wear to enhance the mood and experience of your bondage adventure.

As I’ve said before, and will probably say again, bondage is really about acting out a fantasy. Anything you can do to make the fantasy seem more real will also make it more powerful, and make it easier to leave reality behind, even if it’s only for a little while. When you see a play or watch a movie, don’t the actors and actresses wear costumes? They dress appropriately for whatever situation they are in because it reinforces your feeling of “reality” when you watch their performance. For this same reason, wearing the right attire can help you and your partner immerse yourselves more fully within your bondage experience.

So, that’s the viewpoint my comments on costume come from. Of course, there’s a school of thought that says the best costume is no costume at all! And seeing your partner completely bare and bound does hold a great deal of magic. There are few sites more entrancing than seeing Joy nude, fastened spread eagled to the bed, her limbs straining up against her bonds. What is more vulnerable than being naked? Still, eventually you’ll want to change things up and cover up a little of that bare skin, at least for the start of the adventure. The mere idea of tying your partner up might sound wild and different at first, but if you do it the same way every time, eventually it’s going to get stale.


If you find fetish-wear attractive, there are many different merchants who will sell it to you. It’s available for both men and women, and comes in all kinds of materials, from leather to rubber. You can get clothing featuring chains, studs or zippers. I have purchased several different items along these lines for Joy, and we’ve enjoyed them very much!

However, fetish-wear brings with it a certain feeling of decadence. That fits some adventures very nicely, but there are others that call for a feeling of innocence or even prudishness. In these cases, lingerie or even simple cotton underwear works better. It all depends on the particular fantasy you have in mind.

With Joy, I’ll often suggest a general direction (“innocent” or “how about some lacey boy shorts?”), but let her choose exactly what she wants to put on. On nights where I’ve got a specific adventure planned, however, I’ll ask her to wear specific items that fit the scenario, or even leave them out for her to find and put on. This is especially fun when I’ve got something new for her—it’s fun for her to try it on, and fun for me to see her wearing it!

Note, by the way, that you don’t have to go out and buy a lot of expensive lingerie to accomplish this. Sure, you can do so if you have the budget, and it’s lots of fun! But you can also succeed with far more limited funds. Consider the atmosphere created, for instance, if your partner is clad in nothing but a badly torn T-shirt and pair of panties…

Your mileage may vary, and you may want to do things entirely different than this. But the point is that what you and your partner wear matters! Pay attention to this detail, match your costume to the mood you want to create, and I promise you you’ll notice a difference in your experience!

The moral of this story is this: Bondage adventures are about acting out fantasies. Just as the costumes actors wear in a play or movie help make the performance seem more real, the clothing you wear will help you and your partner get more fully “into” your shared fantasy. If you want that fantasy to be powerful, use this knowledge to help make it so.

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

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