Lately I’ve been browsing through a lot of BDSM-themed blogs, with an eye to expanding both my personal reading list and my blog roll. I’ve read through quite a variety! There are certainly plenty of image-focused blogs, and while they’re fun to visit in their own way, they’re not really what I’m looking for. Instead, I’m after blogs that provide information on the same topics I tend to write about–BDSM techniques, Dominant/submissive relationships, scene ideas and suggestions, toys, etc. After all, I write about the things that interest me, so it would make sense that I’d want to read about them as well!
In doing all this browsing, I’ve come across a phenomena that puzzles me. There seems to be a dearth of quality blogs written by Dominants.
I’ve happened across a whole variety of submissive blogs, many of which are excellent. Several I’ve known about and followed for quite awhile–Mouse, for instance, and Libby, and Vesta, and Lil. I’ve discovered several more which I’ve begun to check regularly, and will likely add to my blogroll as well. But Dominant blogs? Not so much.
Blogs by Dominants certainly may be found! However, they seem to mostly fall into one of two categories. Either they exist to share pictures, with perhaps a bit of snyde commentary if you’re lucky (and many of these turn out to be fronts for pay-for-porn sites), or they are blogs that started off okay, but died after only a couple months of posting, and now are sporadically updated if at all. I have managed to find a couple Dominant blogs that are possibilities–I’ll continue to look in on them to gather more data. But the difference in number between quality blogs by Dominants versus quality blogs by submissives is stark.
So now I’m wondering why. One would think that the Dominant experience would make compelling reading. Why do so few good Dominant blogs exist? I have several hypotheses for this, but am not sure which one is correct:
- Perhaps the issue lies with me. I could be that I’m more attracted to submissives because there’s no sense of competition in roles and because I simply like them better, and therefore their writing appeals more to me.
- Perhaps Dominants are too busy? I know my time is always at a premium, and I have to make time to be able to write. But are Dominants really busier than submissives? Don’t try telling that to Joy!
- Perhaps Dominants are less introspective, and therefore less prone to study their BDSM hobby? This sounds plausible to me. Though I’m fairly introspective, I may not be representative of the Dom community at large. And I would think submission would tend to make one look deep inside oneself, which then might lead to sharing of interesting information online.
And, of course, it could be that it’s a mix of two or all three of the above, or a reason I haven’t sussed out at all. I’m just not sure, but I’ll continue to scour the blogosphere to see what else I can find. In the meantime, if anyone has a suggestion for an interesting BDSM-related blog for me to look at, either Dominant, submissive or something else entirely, please share and I’ll pay it a visit.
Thanks all! And enjoy yourself!