Collars hold a special place within the BDSM community. They symbolize a firm bond between a Dominant and submissive partner, and in fact, a “Collaring Ceremony” may be held when a submissive commits to giving him or herself to their Dominant partner in a lasting way. I acknowledge and even applaud this symbolic value! However, I also must confess that generally I regard collars as primarily symbolic or decorative items, with only limited functional value.

As a decorative item, however, they remain quite powerful! Joy has a collar that she wears during our adventures, and it is one of my favorite pieces of her apparel. Its black leather looks wonderful against the skin of her neck, and watching her put it on and knowing that she is about to give herself to me creates an exquisite feeling. If you want to increase the Dominant/submissive atmosphere in an adventure, a collar serves very nicely!

Today, however, let’s leave the decorative aspects aside and focus on the functional uses for collars in BDSM. While limited, nonetheless functional uses do exist, and I thought it might be interesting to examine them. As always, I can only share how I use a collar—this does not mean it is how you must use one! If you have other ideas, pursue them as you see fit.

Firstly, we should recognize that collars carry with them some inherent dangers. Collars fasten around the wearer’s neck, and anything worn around the neck brings with it the risk of strangulation. Because of this, you need to be very careful not to place the wearer in any sort of scenario where they can fall or twist themselves in such a way that the collar tightens and restricts their air supply. Neither Joy nor I are into any sort of breath play, and IMHO, you shouldn’t be either—the risks are far too great. I highly recommend that collars not be used for this sort of purpose!

So what should collars be used for? Well, there are a couple different types of collar, and to some extent, their usage varies.

A basic collar consists of a strip of leather, a length of chain, a band of metal or something similar with at least one attachment point (often a standard o-ring). Collars usually buckle on, and locking models are available if that floats your boat. Basic collars primarily serve to control the head of the wearer and by extension, the rest of the wearer as well—you don’t usually go very far without your head–and thus a common usage is to attach a leash and use it to lead the wearer around. Again, however, this is primarily symbolic of ownership rather than functional, and it’s not what I want to focus on. When I use Joy’s basic collar, it’s for one of three purposes.

  • The first purpose is to secure her head and upper body so that she feels more confined and less mobile. Examples of this usage would include running a chain from the o-ring to the bed frame when Joy lies face up on the bed, or to use a snap hook to attach the o-ring to a connection point on the spanking table when Joy is bent face down over it. In either case, Joy is unable to lift her head and body up, and therefore feels bound much more severely than if the collar was not in use.
  • The second purpose is to use the collar as a means of binding her arms. In this case, I turn the collar so that the o-ring is at the back, and then pull her arms up and behind her head and snap her wrist cuffs to it. This keeps Joy’s hands and arms up by her neck, giving me free access to her delectable body and creating a delicious feeling of defenselessness for her. An alternate position, demonstrated ad nauseum in “The Story of O”, is to leave the o-ring in the front and connect the wrist cuffs to it, requiring Joy to keep her hands and arms at the front of her neck. However, because this leaves her arms covering her breasts, this one’s not nearly as fun.
  • The final reason we use Joy’s collar is to secure the chain on a set of nipple clamps. Sometimes you want the chain to hang down, especially if you have a weight attached. In that case, the swinging of the weight and the tugging sensation on Joy’s nipples can be excruciatingly pleasurable. However, oftentimes this isn’t our goal, and in that case, the chain can present a risk of getting caught on something, which can lead to painful consequences! In this case, running the chain up and through the o-ring on the collar can help keep it safe and out of the way.


In addition to the basic collar, there are also posture collars. Again, these consist of some sort of leather, metal, or other material that wraps around the neck, but they are much wider than a basic collar. The purpose of a posture collar is to force the wearer to keep their head up, and it does so by essentially making it at least uncomfortable and potentially impossible for them to lower it. With the head held up and erect, the rest of the wearer’s posture follows suit, and thus the chest tends to be thrust out, the shoulders back, the belly sucked in, and the legs straight.

To date, I haven’t seen the appeal of posture collars, and thus Joy does not own one. Joy’s natural posture seems plenty appetizing already! To me, posture collars seem as though they would get in the way from a functional perspective, and therefore they appear to be best suited to decoration. However, as I said, we don’t own one, and therefore I’m no expert on the ins and outs of their uses. Nonetheless, be aware that they’re out there, and if you’re a posture aficionado, you may want to look at them.

So those are my thoughts on the uses for a BDSM collar. As a final note, I want to reemphasize that while I put aside the decorative aspect of collars for this post, that aspect should definitely not be overlooked! The submissive aspect of wearing a collar adds powerfully to any BDSM adventure, and even if there were no functional uses for one at all, I’d be sure Joy wore one just for the atmosphere alone. Atmosphere matters when it comes to BDSM, and there are few ways to add to it more effective than a nice collar!

Enjoy yourself,

Jake

Be Sociable, Share!