A few days ago I mentioned in one of my posts that it was “spanking week” at our house, and that Joy was required to come to see me each night before bed to get her bottom paddled. We’ve tired this sort of week a couple times now, and the experiences have been at least somewhat enlightening.
I should clarify that the spankings do not always lead to sex. Some nights they have, and that’s certainly fun, but sometimes it’s been just the spanking and then a bit of snuggle time before going to sleep. One thing they definitely do do, however, is to generate a feeling of closeness before we go to bed.
“Closeness?” you wonder. “How could spanking your wife help you to feel close to each other?” I’m honestly not sure I have an explanation for that, but being me, I do have theories. I suspect that partly it’s because it helps create a feeling of playful naughtiness that, even when sex doesn’t necessarily follow, helps pique our interest in each other. There’s certainly something about seeing Joy bent over my knee with her bare bottom thrust up under my hand that piques my interest, anyway!
I suspect another reason it helps us to feel close is that it reinforces the Dominance and submission aspect of our relationship. Joy must prepare before she comes to see me by removing her panties, selecting the spanking tool of her choice and bringing it with her. When she comes in, she must give me the paddle, crop, belt or whatever tool she selected, and then lift her nightgown to bare her behind. Oh, there are few things more beautiful than Joy’s behind! By performing these preparations and then making herself vulnerable, even when she knows she’s going to get a paddling, she expresses to both of us that she has given herself to me, and that I may do with her what I will. And reconfirming this Dominance and submission lets both of us settle into the roles that give us happiness and fulfillment.
I don’t think that Joy and I are alone in these findings, by the way. I’ve read on various other blogs about submissives that benefit from and enjoy “maintenance spankings”. The general consensus seems to be that it helps some submissives to feel at peace and secure, and as Joy and I discovered, that it can help D/s couples to feel closer.
I don’t think that this is a practice that we’ll keep up every night. Some nights are hard—especially if it’s been a rough day, or one of us doesn’t feel well. And like anything, making it a forever routine would remove the novelty. I’m a big fan of changing things around to keep them fresh, so next week will probably be something different. Still, it’s been an interesting experiment with positive results, and one that I suspect we’ll repeat again.